Adelphia: (matronly old
woman's voice) Adelphia. How may I help you?
BEAST:
Yes, I was wondering if you can help me. My name is Ron
Goldstein. I work for Citibank. And I'm really sort of at
my wits' end. I have a problem. I played golf a couple of
weeks ago with Tim Rigas at Shinnecock, in Long Island.
And he borrowed a set of clubs from me, and hasn't returned
them. And all of his numbers have changed in the last few
weeks. I really don't know what to do. They won't answer
my calls at the corporate office.
Adelphia: Well, no one's
here today except us pukes. There's a few of us. [Eds. note:
The call was made on Memorial Day.]
BEAST:
Is there any way to get a message to him? Is he still at
the company?
Adelphia: Uh...
BEAST:
They were really nice clubs. Calloway, Big Berthas. Like
900 bucks.
Adelphia: Huh. Okay.
Can I have your name, please?
BEAST:
That's Ron Goldstein. G-O-L-D-S-T-E-I-N.
Adelphia: Okay. And can
I have a phone number to reach you?
BEAST:
Sure. It's (gives random phone number with 212 area code.)
Adelphia: And this is
for Tim?
BEAST:
Yeah. Tim Rigas... He may not even remember the incident.
But he came to the course without his clubs, and I lent
mine to him. Next thing I know he's walking out to the parking
lot with them, and throwing them into his Range Rover!
Adelphia: Gosh.
BEAST:
You know, so I chased him out into the parking lot, but
he didn't hear me as he drove off.... I mean, with the bag,
it's almost a thousand dollars.
Adelphia: (obviously
taking notes) Mmm... Okay. And he borrowed these where?
BEAST:
At Shinnecock, Long Island. You know, where they played
the Open a few years ago?
Adelphia: Shit--?
BEAST:
SHINN-e-cock.
Adelphia: (laughing)
Shin!
BEAST:
(laughing) No, not shittecock!
Adelphia: (still laughing)
That's why I had you repeat it! Would you like to, uh, spell
that for me?
BEAST:
Sure. S-H-I-N-N-E-C-O-C-K.
Adelphia: And that's
New York, right?
BEAST:
Right. Well, Long Island. Don't forget to write down the
black-and-white checkered Ping Golf bag, too.
Adelphia: Okay.
BEAST:
And Calloway Big Berthas. I'm sure he's got a lot of sets,
but, you know.
Adelphia: What I'll do
is I'll take this, and I'll take it up to one of the secretaries
upstairs, and pass along the message. See if we can get
your clubs back for you. Get him to give you a call.
BEAST:
Great. Thanks very much.
Adelphia: No problem!
BEAST:
Goodbye.
Adelphia: Goodbye.
