I was told you
published the personal email I sent you (which was not intended for publication)
about how it didn’t matter to me what you did at the Al Franken event or anywhere
else for that matter. I went online to confirm this. Your response, once you
strip away the predictable Beasty bile, was an insistence that I really do
care about you and your paper. I’m sorry, but I don’t. Don’t take it personally,
I just don’t care for your style of journalism anymore than you apparently
care for mine. So I don’t read your paper. I know you’re out there and people
read the Beast. That’s good! I know professional bowling is out there, too,
I just don’t follow it. In any case, I meant what I said, I hope you prosper.
Also, I began learning piano about three months ago. I’m terrible (but improving).
Stop in at Merlin’s some Wednesday if you ever want to hear me butcher some
well loved cover songs and I’ll buy you a beer. Just don’t talk to me about
not for publication
Jamie, you’ve convinced us. After two insistent e-mails, it’s become very
clear to us that you really, really, seriously, don’t give a hoot. In fact,
we’d have to say that you don’t care a lot. In fact, you don’t care so much
that it seems really important to you that we fully understand your superlative
lack of interest. In truth, though, the best evidence that you really don’t
ever read The BEAST is your expectation that simply typing “not for publication”
would ever stop us from printing something.
Would it be any
relevance to know that Mad Cow Disease is not caused by an abberant protien
but by an nanobacterium called spiroplasma? It can be known as absolute fact
without any tests that prion proteins do not cause Mad Cow Disease, or TSEs,
because the absence of genetic material causes evolution to work against the
disease instead of promote it. Without evolution, it cannot have variants.
I explain this
subject on this web page: http://nov55.com/prin.html
science web site
we’re no scientists, but we’re always willing to believe a “scientist” whose
only corroborating reference is his own website. Still, we’re in good company,
according to your website, as you seem to have discovered not only that the
Theory of Relativity and the Big Bang Theory are incorrect, as well as the
physical definition of energy, but that the dinosaurs were killed by grass,
chlorine causes heart disease and fluoride makes your teeth break. Oh, and
global warming is caused by the earth’s core heating the oceans. It’s amazing,
really—such an astonishing range of discoveries, yet the genius behind them
goes unrecognized, as if he is some kind of crackpot, some half-witted egomaniac
who cannot imagine that some truths are beyond his comprehension. What a shame.
That’s a nice touch, too, signing off with “science web site,” when that’s
not even the name of your website, which would be bad enough in itself. Maybe
we should start following our names in correspondence with the word “newspaper.”
You know, let them figure it out, right?
We are going vegan, and want to know if there is any meat, (such as buffalo),
that is not subject to potential prion infection. Thank you. Kenny Lane
You’re going vegan. And you want to know what kind of meat you can eat. Are
you sure you don’t already have Mad Cow? And how is it we get two letters
in the space of a day about a two and a half year old article?
OF OUR ENEMY STILL SUCKS
First, I wanted
to say how off the mark you were with your list. Although, you are entitled
to your own opinion, however liberal it may be. I have fought for this country
and I’m sure that you in no way support the war or even give a shit about
the troops, but there is on injustice that has to be brought forward. That
is Fred Phelps and his congregation at the Westboro Baptist Church. I’m sure
that since you apparently are an “educated” liberal would even agree with
me on this. These people have no right to breathe the same air as any servicemember
and to think that they can protest at ones funeral. Now, I stumbled across
your page and realized I wasn’t going to like what I was going to read, but
I don’t know anyone that even thinks about saying they support these idiots.
Personally, I believe that they should’ve been every one of the top 50 and
then killed. But the Constitution of the US protects them so they can trash
talk the men and women that uphold and defend it. It makes me sick to know
that we can’t deport them to Iran, that would be justice.
Something tells us you wouldn’t have much of a problem with the subhuman Phelps’
message if he and his trolls only picketed gay weddings and pride marches,
which would admittedly make more sense as a target than the funerals of US
soldiers. Luckily, another few rigged elections and we’ll be well on our way
to eliminating that pesky First Amendment which you find so nauseating. Maybe
then you won’t have to show your compassion for the troops by supporting their
HEY what is the
goddamn matter with you guys i love the beast but without having read the
article im old fashimoned but still think the prez should be killed what the
hell !!!! you cant call for the murder of an asshole like w even if jokingly
man im mad you do this stupid thing man
You may be right—it could be Genghis has really gone too far this time. You’d
think he’d have more empathy, being a bloodthirsty conqueror himself. Maybe
we should apologize to the president; after all, look what it did for the
Dixie Chicks. One question, though: were you turning into the Incredible Hulk
when you wrote this message?
Here is a question
for The Beast. Does The Beast consider itself a liberal publication? If no,
where does The Beast fall on the political spectrum?
The BEAST does not “fall” on the political spectrum; it descends with claws
extended and fangs bared, rending errant ideologies asunder and gorging on
their remains. Mere dogmatic labels can adequately capture neither the fierce
independence nor the breathtakingly vast complexity of our range of opinion.
But mainly liberal, yeah—real pinkos, sometimes.
POORLY ON ALTERNET
Just discovered your site thru a link on AlterNet. Creeaagh, you are so rollickingly
GOOD! Nailed “Minus Dickus” Cheney dead cold, by my own early-on “take,” not
to mention later-discovered Mr. Stew Webb’s whistleblowin’ lights and Mr.
Tom Flocco’s entirely non-defective intel. (You know ‘em to0? If not, check
Two classes of
congregant shall be turned on to a link to BuffaloBeast: One is the bloodywar-minded
critics in the FriendlyOhYah Opposition’s inimitable ranks (in our back pews);
the other is the repented ‘n’ Redeemed xconvix in the middle-to-front seats.
Knowing ‘em all so well as I do, I expect a great time shall be had by all.
BTW: Word is
out that black ops assassins have been authorized recently for damage control
purposes. Webb, Hennigan and Flocco are most recently said to be on the Beltway
and shielding on all so targeted are clearly called for. Do you pray as well
as you lampoon? Or have friends/associates who do? If so, kindly do pass the
word to do the Right Thing as never before - and THANK YOU for your kind assistance
in Heaven’s service.
One good parody
is worth ten thousand of even the most intensely focused polemics. Keep up
the Great Work! (Heaven bless thee too for all you do.)
-- With cordial
bellyhowlin’ respect, Reverend Charlene WT Mann (ULC) First Peoples’ Church
of the Forbidden Truth “John 8:32 is Just All Right by ME!” (A Global Funny
Hat Medicine Society Affiliate and ICKR Curmudgeonry Licensure Agency) “Truth
has value for its own sake. No mistake.”
So, is this bipolar acid casualty speak for “I enjoy your work?”
if Michael Gildea saw the latest episode of Family Guy, where Peter Griffin
gets to do a segment on the local news called “you know what really grinds
my gears?.” He used, pretty much verbatim, what Michael Gildea had said about
Jessica Alba in edition #85’s Kino Korner, replacing Lindsay Lohan for Jessica
Alba. Seems like the Family Guy writers are fans of the Buffalo Beast.
the good work.
Those bastards! We thought something was fishy when they did that episode
where Stewie prank calls the mayor of Ottawa. No, actually Gildea has a temporal
anomaly in his living room which he watches television through so he can plagiarize
the future. It makes It a lot harder to sue.
November 30-December 14, 2005 Be A Diligent Jihadist
“And if anyone
knows the real story about Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi-if he’s real, who the hell
he is or why that matters......”
19, 2006 The Editor’s Desk
“On Feb. 5, 2003,
Secretary of State Colin Powell went before the United Nations to make the
case for going to war with Iraq. Among his arguments: that the United States
had solid evidence of ties between Saddam Hussein and a murderous Al Qaeda
leader named Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi.”
knew all along. Do you think they let Colin Powell in on it, or he leaked
the information to Newsweek and they kept mum about it out of the goodness
of their collective heart? The article goes on to say that a team of diligent
Newsweek reporters published reports from intelligence sources linking Zarqawi
to Iran, not Iraq. I suppose that information will come in handy in the next
And Bush actually
said something intelligent this week. Maybe those xians weren’t wrong about
Kate in Kingston
When did Bush say something intelligent? What was it, “I’m an idiot?” And
how is it that you can quote an article published five days after you sent
this e-mail? Are you in Gildea’s living room?
Wow, just found
out about your mag from one of my writers, and after reading several pages
of your vitriolic perversity I realized that I.....love you. I do. I want
to rape your sarcasm.
Anyway, if you have a banner ad, send it on, as I’d love to hawk your shit.
It is funny. I would also like to send some stuff your way, as most of the
pussified pubs I write for don’t likey the name-calling and rough language.
Which I like. A lot.
That said, have a nice day and skewer a bitch-ass Republicrat for me...
What, and our vitriol is chopped liver? You cad, you! Well, sorry to disappoint,
but you can’t rape our sarcasm—because our sarcasm is one eager slut.
I am just curious, after all of the recent press, who is actually responsible
for the disaster that the Tralf has become? Wasn’t this club always touted
as “The Jewel of the Theatre District”? Now all we read about is stabbing’s,
“melees,” and tenant disputes. What is this, an out of control high school?
Who is in charge?
It would seem
that the original mistake was for the new landlord to take a highly respected
nightclub away from a legitimate operator and give it to a deceitful child.
The second mistake was to then let this child run amuck, for the last two
years, unsupervised. Anyone who has gone to the “New Tralf” has seen that
the once lovely interior, fabulous staff, and terrific programming, has been
replaced by a mess with a poor sound system, terrible service, and virtually
no programming. Former patrons are left with hip hop parties and canceled
concerts, not to mention the fact that the continued bad press leads everyone
to believe that heading downtown now means putting one’s life at risk even
at 7 p.m.! I can imagine the P.R. people at Shea’s, Studio Arena & The
Irish Classical Theatre are working overtime to dispel this image. Does the
city actually believe that people from the suburbs are going to buy tickets
to shows in the theatre district next season if things don’t change? There
goes your restaurant, parking and hotel dollars. Wave goodbye to that money
Who is going
to fix this? Is it the city? Is it the landlord? Certainly it is not the current
operator. He obviously is incapable of an adult thought. The adult audience
has nowhere left to go in this city to enjoy any music. The Tralf, under this
current regime has been ruined & even the Town Ballroom has turned out
to be a huge disappointment, with similar hip hop parties and young rock shows.
Is there anyone capable of returning the Tralf to the “jewel” it once was?
The adult music lovers in western New York hope so, as do all of those restaurant,
parking and hotel workers who would like to keep their jobs.
We don’t know much about adult music, but there seem to be plenty of adult
video stores around. Why don’t you check out a couple of those? Good luck
keeping your downtown experiences melanin-free.