July 6 - Aug 8, 2006
ISSUE #104
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Killing for Peace
"Premature" ceasefires and other wacky nonsense
Al Uthman

Oprah Akbar
BTUs & CSI are our best weapons against terrorism
Donnie Dobovich

Suport our Unborn Troops
An Evangelical Editorial by Ian Murphy

Are You Anti-Semitic?
Das BEAST Pop Quiz!

Heard the Good News?
Real messages of apocalyptic hope


Local AM station bans BEAST after severe panty-bunching incident

Of BANANAs & Bonobos
BEAST scores watery blow against acronym proliferation


Page 3 New & Improved Sabres Jersey

Kino Korner: Movies
Lady in the Water, Clerks II, Little Man, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Strangers With Candy

Your cosmic fortune in insult form.

[sic] - Letters
Bad Cop, Coulter, Pastries and more Moses

Oprah Akbar!
BTUs & CSI are our best weapons against terrorism
Donnie Dobovich

Add Israelīs current pounding of Lebanon to the American fiasco in Iraq, and things do not look good for the War on Terror. The situation exemplifies the utter futility of fighting the terrorists by blowing up everything around them. It's a lesson that America sorely needs to learn: there were no suicide bombers in Iraq before we invaded, but there are plenty now, and some of them are homegrown. Al Qaeda sympathizers were not to be found there until we started blowing up Iraqis.

Just as any Republican will tell you that you can't help poor people by giving them money, it seems you can't fight terrorism by killing terrorists. It's no foregone conclusion that terrorists will lose these struggles, if our every strike against them only multiplies their numbers.

Itīs time for America to regroup and reconsider its tactics. Sure, incinerating Arabs can be fun, but we need to remember our stated goal here: ending the terrorist threat and avoiding another 9/11. Can we really say weīre making any progress toward that goal, or are we simply contributing to a never-ending cycle of violence thatīs bound to once again return to our shores? And even if thatīs true, how can we fight terrorism without, well, fighting?

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