Aug 9 - Sep 7, 2006
ISSUE #105
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Sympathy for the Beagle
Chinese dissidents yearn to be treated like dogs
Allan Uthman

David Brooks donates genitals in noble pursuit of status quo
Matt Taibbi

Hillary Clinton copulates with the ghost of Richard Nixon
Matt Taibbi

Happy Hiroshima
John Hershey's Hiroshima turns 60
Alexander Zaitchik

Happy Election 2008
An Exclusive BEAST Preview
Josh Bunting


Buffalo in Briefs
Kunz Goldman: keepin' it real ... dumb
Ian Murphy

Alt Weakly
The BEAST grades the remodeled Rochester Insider
Brian Sek

Violent Femmes
Thursday in the Square
Reviewed By a Preachy Christian Asshole


Sprouting Sweet Potato

Kino Korner: Movies
Talladega Nights, Miami Vice, The Night Listener, The Descent, Scoop, John Tucker Must Die

As divined by your etheral guide

[sic] - Letters
Mad Maximalist, The Man Without a Case, The Passion of The Wrist and more

Buffalo In Briefs

continued - page 2

"We went all last year with the splash pad not working. We closed out last year with lights not working. If this was on Hertel Avenue, if it was in the Elmwood area, if it was in South Buffalo - where predominantly white folks live - this would have been taken care of last year."

Its amazing. This is what Goldman takes away from an article about racial disparity in public spending: the perceived injustice of painting successful white neighborhoods with too broad a brush. Never mind that, in the original (presumably accurate) quote, Herbert also included South Buffalo along with Elmwood and Hertel, obviating Goldmans already wobbly premise that Herbert was characterizing these neighborhoods as virtually identical, or that thats some kind of epidemic. Anyone even vaguely familiar with South Buffalo knows its not a lot like Elmwood. But what these three areas do share in common is, as Herbert says in the original, uncensored quote, they are places where predominantly white folks live.

But Goldman unapologetically leaves out the meat of the matter. She doesnt offer even a cursory nod to the issue at hand, opting instead to butcher the quote in a lame effort to set up a dreadfully unfunny Hertel-vs.-Elmwood groanfest. The mention of race and inexplicably, South Buffalo is completely redacted without giving the reader any indication. No brackets. No ellipses. Nothing.

We have busted Kunz before simply making stuff up, but deliberately misquoting her own newspaper to whitewash a legitimate grievance and delve into an issue existing solely in her melanin-free fantasyland is disgusting even for her. Doesnt the News have editors or fact checkers, or back issues lying around, even? How this citys only daily can operate at a level of journalistic integrity on par with North Korean state run television news and consistently get away with it is beyond us. This bullshit should no longer stand. Its time to get angry, and its high time this bitch got sacked, or at least delivered a swift kick to the cunt by Rod Watson in a public forum.

And as if one glaring example of racial insensitivity werent enough, Goldman adds insult to injury with another smirky slur against a different minority:

At Elmwood's Lexington Food Co-Op, the cashier smiles and asks how you're doing as she rings up your yogurt on the state-of-the-art flat-screen LCD register.

At Hertel's Aladdin Market, you take your Arabic-labeled yogurt to the counter and communicate with gestures to a woman in a burqa, who speaks no English.

How droll! While it doesnt exactly come as a shock to us that Goldman doesnt know the difference between a burqa (covers the entire face) and a hijab (doesnt), again the question arises: where are the editors? And really, isnt kvetching about immigrant shopkeepers the kind of lowbrow trash we can all do without?

Still, while we agree with other indignant locals that this line was detestably dumb, were surprised that it elicited more notice than Goldmans initial blunderous butchery and silent dismissal of the racial context of Herberts quote. After all, this type of erroneous, casually xenophobic quip is a commonplace for the devoted Goldman reader. If theres a running theme throughout Goldmans work aside from vexing mediocrity, its a love of the familiar and distaste for diversity. She is an archetypal sheltered Caucasian, a grinning conformist who resents diversity and whose comfort zone ends where the real world begins.

To these things we have become regrettably accustomed in Marys prose. But quote mutilation this indefensible, which diverts News readers from its original racial context, is the journalistic equivalent of the KKK considering this killer heat. Okay, maybe not, but it does shed some light on the News and Goldmans pervasive subliminal racism, and journalistic M.O. in general. In a town where the minor league basketball team can be demonized for having the purportedly racist name of Silverbacks, it shouldnt be hard to bring some serious heat on this gleefully fascist twat. We call on the racial watchdogs of Buffalo: get her. Make her pay; demand reparations!

Seriously, its enough already. This Kunz must be stopped. Leave it to Mary to steer a valid social grievance into a mundane musing on white neighborhood minutiae. If she lived in New Orleans, you can bet Mary Kunz Goldman would be penning semiliterate laments over philharmonic funds being diverted to levy reconstruction. We have strong feeling, though, that the Times Picayune would never pay such a fool to vandalize their award winning pages, leaving us with an important question: why does the Buffalo News?

e-mail the evil editors at sic[at]
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