Aug 9 - Sep 7, 2006
ISSUE #105
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Features

Sympathy for the Beagle
Chinese dissidents yearn to be treated like dogs
Allan Uthman

DICKLESS
David Brooks donates genitals in noble pursuit of status quo
Matt Taibbi

HILL ON FIRE
Hillary Clinton copulates with the ghost of Richard Nixon
Matt Taibbi

Happy Hiroshima
John Hershey's Hiroshima turns 60
Alexander Zaitchik

Happy Election 2008
An Exclusive BEAST Preview
Josh Bunting

Local BEAST

Buffalo in Briefs
Kunz Goldman: keepin' it real ... dumb
Ian Murphy

Alt Weakly
The BEAST grades the remodeled Rochester Insider
Brian Sek

Violent Femmes
Thursday in the Square
Reviewed By a Preachy Christian Asshole

Departments

Sprouting Sweet Potato

Kino Korner: Movies
Talladega Nights, Miami Vice, The Night Listener, The Descent, Scoop, John Tucker Must Die

BEAST-O-Scopes
As divined by your etheral guide

[sic] - Letters
Mad Maximalist, The Man Without a Case, The Passion of The Wrist and more


The BEAST Page 3
Sprouting Sweet Potato

Turn-ons: Hockey, cocaine, Maryjane, funk, bitches, Eddie Murphy

Turn-offs: Nosy reporters, legless bison, snitches, front teeth, Charlie Murphy

How I became The Beast Page 3 New & Improved Sabres Jersey: Have you seen the new logo design? Tragedy! I was put together by the intrepid BEAST staff in order to avert this looming branding disaster. Using the image of late hometown hero Rick James will not only make the Sabres the grooviest team in the NHL; it will also confuse and bewilder the Slavic and French-Canadian honkies who dominate the league. And think of the licensing possibilities! Sabres roach clips, anyone?

Future Plans: I'm gonna be huge, baby! Every hockey fan and hip-hop kid is gonna wanna slap me on their chest! There'll be national news stories about me! The Canadians are gonna shit! I'm a take the cup next time, baby─burn those Hurricane bitches!

How I'd like to be remembered: As an anomalistic dose of funk in a field of work that attracts very, very few Negroes. Also as the obvious precursor to the NFL's Cincinnati Bootsies.



e-mail the evil editors at sic[at]buffalobeast.com
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