The Worst Show on Television

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12:24 a.m. Obama back on CNN, explaining what he thinks the election results mean. "Well," he says, "it confirms in my mind that the American people are eager to move in a new direction." Again the tiptoes thing; Obama thinking, "I'm taller than that bitch McCain!"

Listening to any Democrat rattle off his talking points tonight is like having a jerk-off session with a chat room robot:

HI HONEY R U FEELING LONELY???

I'm good :) U?

I'M 18 AND TAKING OFF MY BRA AND PANTIES

I'm rock hard and looking for a new direction!

CUM ON MY TITS at www.newdirectionXXX.com

Are there really people out there who get off on this shit? Have we sunk so low that people actually respond emotionally to these robo-speeches?

The worst thing is that it's the same code words every single election. Fifty years from now people are going to be sitting in front of their holo-screens listening to Paris Hilton's grandson promise "a new direction for America." And Jeff Greenfield's great gay-grandson is going to leap to his platform heels and applaud him for being "focus-group-tested for maximum appeal." Does time even pass in this country? What the hell is wrong with us?

12:42 a.m. Wolf Blitzer on the Virginia Senate race: "It doesn't get a whole lot more closer than that." Hearing the words twist awkwardly out of his mouth, he frowns and scans the room looking like he wants to hit someone. Best moment of the whole evening.

1:12 a.m. Diane Feinstein, on CNN, weighs in with her original assessment of the election results:

"My view," she says, "is that it a signal for a change in direction."

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