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ArrowBig Baby Brown
Buffalo Mayor Tramples BEAST Publisher

ArrowThe Vilsack Buzz
As the nation looks to ‘08, excitement is high
Matt Taibbi

ArrowCut -N- Fun!
2 dimensional fathers better parents, say experts

Rich Herschlag

ArrowDialing for Santorum
My last-ditch heroic effort to save the GOP’s holiest hatchet man
Matt Taibbi


ArrowAn Important Message from our Fearless Leader
Paul Fallon

ArrowBeast Product Review
Buffalo Rising Magazine


ArrowThe Beast Page 3
Featureless Internet Kitsch

ArrowKino Korner: Movies
Casino Royale, Déjà Vu, Stranger Than Fiction, Bobby, Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny, Happy Feet

As divined by your ethereal guide

Arrow[sic] - Letters
[sic]entology, Xenuphobia, Russian Says Get Out, Kill!, Castrate! and more

Kino Korner


Casino Royale | Déjà Vu | Stranger Than Fiction | Bobby
Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny | Happy Feet


BobbyI’ve never experienced sibling rivalry firsthand, but we’ve all seen it when a little brother tries to live up to the accomplishments of his big brother. Oftentimes a little brother will fight his damnedest to outdo his big brother. Or in some cases, to be just like his big brother.

Which brings us to Bobby, Emilio Estevez’s chock-full-of-stars extravaganza about the day would-be president Bobby Kennedy was assassinated. Estevez weaves the tapestry that was Kennedy, telling us his story by telling a bunch of other stories that really have nothing to do with Kennedy’s assassination. If it sounds really moronic that’s because it is really moronic. The next time you watch The Usual Suspects, imagine the whole flashback being a film strip on photosynthesis before revealing the identity of Keyser Soze and you’ll get the idea.

I could tell what Estevez was trying to do. He was trying to tell you the story of what was going to happen instead of what actually happened. He was trying to show the types of people who were affected by Kennedy’s assassination and how they were affected. He was trying to show their feelings and in the process whistle “feelin’ groovy” while bombarding us with clichés from the ‘60s--making all the guys look like Peter Noone and all the gals look like Dusty Springfield, all while wrapping it in tie-dyes and moonbeams. Wheeeeee! While Bobby itself seems like a good enough idea that might actually deliver, it seems forced to rely on Star Power from the likes of Demi Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Anthony Hopkins, Sharon Stone, William H. Macy, Lawrence Fishburne, Christian Slater, Ashton Kutcher, Joshua Jackson, Elijah Wood, Freddy Rodriguez, Heather Graham, Martin Sheen, Harry Belafonte and Estevez himself.

And this is where Bobby tries to live up to his big brother JFK. It throws more stars at you than the third act of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The difference between Jack and Bobby is that Jack had something to say. Jack had real people involved and dramatic license not withstanding, it was real. Jack was ominous, had intrigue and stood at a podium with his war paint on, ready to hand a beating to anyone who stood in his way or tried to silence him. Bobby just kind of lays in bed for hour before trying to fall asleep, thinking wouldn’t it be nice if before springing out of bed to play a not so horrible rendition of “Mr. Tambourine Man.”

And here’s the real tragedy of Bobby. The last fifteen minutes or so are actually pretty great. Estevez spent so much time spewing sentimentality, roses, sunshine and bullshit throughout the body of the movie that by the time this emotional and meaty ending happened that you felt like you were watching something entirely different. Picture yourself getting baked out of your mind and a SWAT team kicks in your door. Seeing Bobby is a tragedy that almost rivals Kennedy’s murder. Those final moments convince you that Estevez could’ve made a gripping, compelling and great a movie that would’ve done Bobby Kennedy justice the way JFK honored John F. Kennedy.

If JFK served as a eulogy to John F. Kennedy, it would’ve started off with the words, “John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the kind of man who would’ve punched you in the head and fucked your mother in the ass if you crossed him. And he would’ve made you like it...” But with Estevez’s Bobby, it starts off with, “Bobby Kennedy was a really righteous dude and he was all about loving one another, man....” While Estevez does nothing to dishonor Kennedy, he doesn’t do much to honor him either. All he really did was let us know that a lot of actors we haven’t seen in a while aren’t dead. And when you’re supposed to be buying what Bobby is selling, all you’re really doing is saying, “Oooh! Haven’t seen her in a while...” If you’re trying to tell a story of this much importance, you don’t let Demi Moore’s wig or Elijah Wood’s sideburns overpower it. I don’t know if Bobby was the product of a gross miscalculation on Estevez’s part or if he wanted to play a game of Find the Movie Stars. All I know is in the very unlikely event I achieve the greatness that Bobby Kennedy did, do not let Emilio Estevez make the movie version of it. Unless Clive Owen wants to play me. Then it’s okay.




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