Beast Banner March 2007
ISSUE #114
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Features

ArrowSchlep Boys
Failing forward in one act

Allan Uthman

ArrowThe Britney Budget
Matt Taibbi

ArrowEeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe
Blogger and journalist Brad Friedman of The Brad Blog on the hijacking of democracy and more

ArrowObama
The best BS artist since Slick Willy

Matt Taibbi

ArrowSweet Nothings
Lies my paper told me

Allan Uthman

ArrowMenace in Seat 36F
Based on a True Story

Michael J. Smith

ArrowBEAST gets poetic on dat ass!
Saul Williams schools us on Hip Hop and our choice of lunch

ArrowCelebrity Buttholes Will Be the End of Us
A. Monkey

ArrowThe BEAST Melanin / Electability Index

ArrowThe Truth Spin
Sometimes, honesty really is the best policy

Allan Uthman

ArrowTV Highlights
CBSs Numb3rs signals the end of the end of the American Empire

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Departments
ArrowKino Korner: Movies
The Abandoned, Wild Hogs, The Number 23, Zodiac, Reno 911!: Miami, Amazing Grace, Black Snake Moan, Shooter, The Astronaut Farmer, Inland Empire

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
As divined by your ethereal guide

Arrow[sic] - Letters
The Pussy of the Christ, How Great We Art, Dumb Shit, PhD, All You Need is Loathe and more

 

Kino Korner

 


The Abandoned | Wild Hogs | The Number 23 | Zodiac
Reno 911!: Miami | Amazing Grace | Black Snake Moan
Shooter | The Astronaut Farmer | Inland Empire


Wild Hogs

John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy prove that their careers are dying/dead or that they’ve got some serious gambling debts/drug habits/lapses in judgment with Wild Hogs, the story of four hopeless douchebags who go on a motorcycle road trip in hopes of… don’t make me say it… please… getting their groove back. Jesus, I’ve never been so embarrassed for someone in my life, and I’ve seen every episode of every version of The Office.

So they’re all whiter than Antarctica and trying to pass themselves off as bikers, trying to live life or let some collective mid-life crisis play out. They piss off some real bikers in the trailer and I honestly can’t talk about this anymore. I would much rather talk about the time when I almost UNKNOWINGLY had sex with my second cousin. I won’t talk about either, but you’re going to get me to talk about the latter before I talk about Wild Hogs. 

 

 

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