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The
BEAST Page 5 Desktop Battle
 Name:
“Defending Fort Slim Jim”
Turn-ons: Furtive imaginations, deadline desperation,
forgiving readers, cheap Chinese toys and mechanically separated chicken
Turn-offs: The horrors of fake, miniature desktop war
and greasy bazookas.
How I got to be The BEAST Page 5 Desktop Battle: Well,
I’ve already addressed that—it’s purely an act of desperation,
that and Fort Slim Jim is in great peril—she must be defended!
Future Plans: To become a full length feature film, directed
by Michael Bay and starring Keanu Reeves.
How I’d like to be remembered: Monument, reflecting
pool, day of remembrance and most importantly as a profound comment on
society—that you’ll have to make up on your own.
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