Beast Banner January 2008
ISSUE #122
Issue 122 Cover Small
Last Issue Archives Blog Comix
Web BEAST Blog
Contact Download PDF RSS Subscribe Advertise

Fuck the whales, save the BEAST - Donate now!


ArrowThe BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007
Because there just wasn't enough hate this year.

ArrowThe Grasping
Crashing "Black Friday"
Andrew Blake

ArrowStop Being an Asshole
I'm talking to you, punk
Allison Kilkenny

ArrowDictator Humbly Accepts Electoral Defeat is he a dictator?
Stan Goff

ArrowThe War On The War On
A metaphorical atrocity

ArrowGrowing Up Ganja
How I learned to stop partying and get a real job
Effrey Daniel


ArrowThe Beast Page 5
Desktop Battle Scene

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews

ArrowSilent Night, Deadly Night
Actual Movie Review
Matt Cale

Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - Letters




Banner 10000035button

Banner button




The BEAST Page 5 Desktop Battle

Name: “Defending Fort Slim Jim”
Turn-ons: Furtive imaginations, deadline desperation, forgiving readers, cheap Chinese toys and mechanically separated chicken
Turn-offs: The horrors of fake, miniature desktop war and greasy bazookas.
How I got to be The BEAST Page 5 Desktop Battle: Well, I’ve already addressed that—it’s purely an act of desperation, that and Fort Slim Jim is in great peril—she must be defended!
Future Plans: To become a full length feature film, directed by Michael Bay and starring Keanu Reeves.
How I’d like to be remembered: Monument, reflecting pool, day of remembrance and most importantly as a profound comment on society—that you’ll have to make up on your own.

send your ill-informed ravings to us here
Affiliate Sponsors
MotoSport, Inc.|Netflix DVD Rentals. NO LATE FEES; Free Shipping. Try for FREE! | | Direct2Drive
T-Shirts only $14.99 when you buy 3 or more at | | LinkShare Referral Prg
© Copyright 2002-2007 , The Beast. All rights reserved.