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ISSUE #126
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Features

ArrowBait & Switch
Freely trading lies for votes
Allan Uthman

ArrowDirty Rock
Jay Rockefeller is a jerk
Alexander Zaitchik

ArrowFuck the Troops
Someone had to say it
Ian Murphy

ArrowSuck my Jong
Old cunt attacks Matt Taibbi
Allison Kilkenny

ArrowThe Urge to Surge
Bhagwan Petraeus returns!
Stan Goff

ArrowAIDS Wolf on Murder Night
Includes a brief mention of some band!
Steve Gordon

ArrowBring on the Boycott
Anything to avoid the Olympics
Michael J. Smith

Fauxtures

ArrowNo, I am Not Fucking Bitter
A rural PA voter speaks out

ArrowThe Virgin Suicides
A NEWSBEAST exclusive from Muslim Paradise
Evan Thomas

ArrowWords that Jerk
It's not what you say, it's what people fear
Frank Luntz

ArrowThis BEAST in Science
This Issue's Election Science: The Clintonian Uncertainty Principle, The Truth/Outrage Obameter

ArrowObama Offers Clinton Nomination for Cigarette
Scott Borchert

Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 5
Cheney Sunglesses-Reflection Ambiguity

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - We ridicule your letters

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