Beast Banner November 2008
ISSUE #132
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Features

ArrowA FRIENDLY WARNING FROM THE AMERICAN DOLLAR
Don't call it a comeback

ArrowLET'S GET SOCIAL
Americans prefer to hang separately

Allan Uthman

ArrowSTUPID, or HOW TO LOSE MONEY RUNNING A SPEED LAB
Part one of a series
John Dolan

ArrowCROCK THE VOTE
A disturbing chat with BRAD FRIEDMAN about real election fraud and fake election fraud

ArrowARE YOU A REAL AMERICAN?
Take our quiz and find out!

ArrowPROZAC FOR THE POCKETBOOK
Coping with Global Depression
Saddy McForlorn

ArrowBROKER ENGLISH
The only language we know
Joe Bageant

ArrowTHE REPUBLICAN BASE: STUPID PEOPLE
A most powerful voting bloc
Erich Shulte

ArrowKEEP HOPE ALIVE... LITERALLY
Keep your fingers crossed
Scott Thill

ArrowSAVE OUR CEOS
Super-wealthy threatened by mere opulence
Rich Herschlag

ArrowBOSTON TEA PARTY 2008
This time, it's impossible
Allison Kilkenny

Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 5
Pedagogic Stooge

ArrowWaxy Beast: Music Reviews
by Eric Lingenfelter

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews
by Michael Gildea

ArrowFreeper-Scopes!
Your completely accurate horoscope, expressed cryptically by the stupidest, most dangerously hateful & bigoted conservatives on the internet!

[sic] - Your letters

 

This issue:
FREEPERSCOPES!
Your horoscope expressed cryptically by the stupidest, most dangerously hateful & bigoted conservatives on the internet!

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
No kidding, I thought everyone knew Obama is a Muslim.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
We were always taught growing up that McCarthy was an evil, horrible, alcoholic who destroyed good people’s reputations. I now think that McCarthy was just ahead of his time.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Barack Hussein Obama, blessed be his name, is not a Muslim! and once he is declared Caliph any infidel who utters such blasphemy will be put to death!Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Although I can’t call him a muslim, I also can’t call him a Christian. I would almost have to say that he’s more not a Christian than not a muslim...


Pisces (Feb 18 – Mar 20)
How do you say ACORN in Muslimese? ALLAH AKHBAR!

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Truth is, if Obama was a Muslim and now practices Christianity, a call would be made for his death. He IS a muslim and is allowed to pretend he is otherwise to fool infidels. Reject Obama or you and yours will convert or die!

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
Hussein is an Arabic [Shiite] name ... So, if Obama is a Muslim, he’s probably a Shiite. And, if a Shiite, then his madrassa in Indonesia of his youth was perhaps Wahabbi...the most strict. I suppose all that information is burried or hidden.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Oh oh, sounds like someone is a little pissed. Will they go after the Muzzie? It’s okay, Zero says these things with a “wink” to his Mussie buds. We know they can lie whenever they need to deceive.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
He was raised a socialist, Muslim pinko.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22)
Anyone who would back Osama Obama is definitely no conservative. Traitor is more like it.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
But Colin, Obama IS a Muslim....you will know if gets elected....and then what will you say?

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22)
republicans have never claimed he is muslim, Powell is lying.



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