Our stomach growl in anticipation of your generosity.
Senior McCain Advisor Greg Strimple, says the campaign seeks to “turn the page on this financial crisis” and instead, talk about Obama’s liberal record.
Does McCain really believe we Americans are suddenly free to “turn the
page,” away from the economy and go on to something else? Does he believe
a real solution to the financial crisis has been set in motion, and can run
on autopilot? What has American done so far to fix this? We’ve collectively
written a check for the largest sum of money ever allocated at one time, ever,
on Earth. Right now, we should be reflecting on how we’ve come to owe
such a gigantic sum. Of course, if we did that, we’d see McCain’s
fingerprints all over this thing. Google the names “Phil Gramm”
and “Keating 5” and you’ll see why McCain would much rather
talk about Obama’s liberalism than our economy.
THE MAD BROWSER
i’m a buffalo, ny transplant stuck in the corporate suckhole of dalls,
tx and i just wanted pass on some love to you folks at the beast. the beast
makes me even prouder to be from buffalo. there are a lot of rednecks here in
dallas, and i work with, and sadly - for them. they are all now getting a healthy
dose of the beast at work cuz i keep changing the homepages on their pc’s
to the beast. i guess it’s a lame attempt at getting fired so i can justify
my impending move back to buffalo. anyway, let there be retards is a great article
and i laughed my ass off reading it. keep up the good work kids - and i will
keep up the sabotage at work. long live the beast!
Alan - the content of your article is mostly interesting but the premise is
not based in reality [Allan Uthman, “Palin-Drones,” issue 131].
White women are not cleaving to Gov. Palin. In fact, they are far less inclined
to Palin than white men. So who are the idiots?
not all women are weak-minded fools, but the women who’ll be voting for the Shrieking Cow just because she’s a woman will be.And they’ll be doing so in spite of the fact that Hillary herself, whom such women claim to worship, specifically asked them not to.
The Shrieking Cow opposes everything that would give women any independence or quality of life.What else would you call women who vote for her but fools and idiots?
But that’s not most of them, the majority of Hillary supporters will
go ahead and vote for Obama.
I’m a woman, and I gave this article a “10”
Any woman who votes for the Palin ticket is a damned fool.
As for the argument that they may vote for her out of sympathy, thus screwing
this country and the world for good, that’s just another way of saying,
LADY DE REDNECK
As An Example, take Lyn Forester, aka Lady de Rothschild. She had been a Hillary supporter, but is now a McSame supporter, and she is calling Obama an “elitist.” She is exactly the type of idiot that Uthman is talking about. (Note: the word idiot comes from a Greek word meaning someone who is coarse, unskilled, and ignorant -- not mentally challenged or retarded. I’m using the word in the original context.)
No, of course not all women are “idiots.” But there are just enough of them to hand McSame the presidency.
By the way, just where is Hillary anyway? Probably hiding out and waiting for
another chance in 2012.
THE FINE-ASS SOLUTION
I hadn’t seen polling but if the white women thing is correct, perhaps one could generalize it as a statistical failing in crackers in general.
It’s a statistical fact that white men overwhelmingly vote fascist, this election being no different. If white women will vote for whichever woman is running, regardless of how many horns or tails she has, that would make pigment the common denominator of the ‘stupid’ demographic.
good to know.
To the asians, meskins and blacks, please keep fucking so that soon y’all
will be the majority demographic and get us crackers out of this fine mess we’ve
Oh my gosh, I’m so glad that someone of such high intelligence has finally
announced that it is official that women are stupid. I don’t know why
we all waste our time, trying to separate out the ones who aren’t, since
there really aren’t any that are not, right? And, so, logically, it would
follow, that all men are geniuses, even the ones who were going to vote for
Hillary, and now who have decided to vote for Palin since Hillary’s off
the ticket. And of course, we must include the ones in the high superior IQ
range who vote for Palin because she’s hot and shoots guns. Did I get
it right? I know, I’m a woman, so it’s a given that I’m not
the brightest bulb, but this is what I have gleaned from your fine, nuanced,
spot on article. Thank you so much, Allan, for having the courage to speak the
truth for all of us. I am humbled by your superior intellect and laser-like
SOMETHING IN OUR EYES
It’s official: PEOPLE are idiots.
Women, on the other hand, have voted for the Democrats in greater percentages than MEN for HOW many of the past HOW many elections?
Take your pseudo-analysis and shove it up your urethra.
Okay, seriously -- I GET your feelings, but you shot from the hip, you DIDN’T consider just how MUCH of the media hype you yourself were swallowing whole (those “Hillary voters” who’ve swung to Palin? Not Democrats. Not really HILLARY voters at all. Fuckin’ moles. You BOUGHT the fuckin’ Republican propaganda. Seriously? You’re THAT gullible? Have you HEARD any of these women TALK about this? Those aren’t fuckin’ Democrats. Those are Hannity camp followers).
I’m not going to eviscerate your essay point by point because it’s beneath my dignity and because it would probably make you cry like a little girl.
Go back and try again. But leave in the part about Frankenstein -- that was
Watching the debate drunk
The surge worked! The surge werked!!! Suuuurge! SUUUUUUUURRRRRRGE!!!!
oh fuck yeah, that was good.
You need to be less selfish if you’re going to satisfy the needs of a maverick surger like Big John the Surgin’ Senator, Isaac. Unless you love terrorists, that is.
I wrote in some time ago about the possibility of including a music review. While it has been nice to see some included, I have to wonder why the space is wasted on stuff like the Jonas Brothers (697 words was it?). Few people reading the Beast need reminding that the Jonas Brothers are bad. Making fun of them isn’t even really that funny. It’s like someone who rips on the really religious, awkward nerd so kids cooler than you will think you, too, are cool. You could at least review something you have listened to that you may think a reader should listen to. Or perhaps you could point out something not worth listening to that may, at a glance, seem appealing.
At least you haven’t gone the route of the trailer critic and reviewed only itunes samples.
Meet my demands and receive a donation.
Which reminds me, I have one more demand: Interview a religious leader. There is always one of them that thinks they can change peoples’ minds. While you won’t change his (won’t be a her) mind, it would likely be funny. The other interviews are great, but they are quite predictable. It would be fun to see some of the answers you would get.
You may think it is unreasonable for a customer who reads your work often for
free to make demands. If so, you’re wrong.
LET THERE BE PAMPHLETS
I got here via Pharyngula and I have to say that Dudes, you are totally awesome. My belly is aching from laughing out so much.
I particularly enjoyed reading about “Asperger’s syndrome by proxy”. [Ian Murphy, “Let There be Retards,” issue 117]
The “Xenu and You” pamphlet was also hilarious [Ian Murphy, “Cult
Classic,” issue 110]. You should expand it into Chick like tracts to be
distributed to at ‘Anonymous’ protest rallies.
P.S. Goddamit McCain his stupid. His “oooo I’ll pick a woman for a VP, that way all the Hilary fans will vote for me,” yea...that would work, if election day was the next day.
You guys just absolutely killed me. I have tears of joy streaming down my cheeks
and a sore stomach from laughing my ass off. HILARIOUS. I’m going to check
out the other years now. When does 2008 come out? I will also check the rest
of your website and I’ll probably get a subscription. Or at least donate
to ensure more of the good stuff.
Are you fucking kidding me?????????????? Your political views are what??????
Ever been to another country that had a press 1 (not nine you fucking moron)
for spanish? Ever been to a country were you can migrate and get benifits like
an instant income, free school and a roof over your head because your from another
country? Well i have been to alot of countrys that are very very racist if your
not that race.But you are right the founding fore fathers had horrible ideas
about building a nation, if your a britt. FUCK OFF AND EAT MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greetings. Looks like the “The Beast” has inspired a new level
of hackdom at the thedailybeast.com. There are a few visual similarities with
“The Beast” too. However, the contents suck major shit with their
feeble political coverage and a syphilitic dose of celebrity coverage. Congratulations,
though. Tina Brown is the hack that showed you her love.
send your ill-informed ravings to us here
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