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	ISSUE 137
	AYATOLLAH KHAMENEI TWITTERS TO THE BEAST	WHORES ON TERROR Never mind the waterboarding, here's the sodomy Allan Uthman	WHAT'S THE B.I.G. IDEA? Karl Widerquist wants to give you instant cash now!
	FUTURE SHLOCK! Ian Murphy pesters geniuses about robots	OPEN ASS, INSERT HEAD If Paulson's a hero, I'm Batman Matt Taibbi	FIRST GITMO DETAINEE BROUGHT TO U.S. ESCAPES & KILLS 5,600 IN ‘HELLISH FLAMES’
	BECOMING A BETTER PERSON How to avoid not doing nothing Eileen Jones	DAVID DUKE OR SONIA SOTOMAYOR? Can you tell the diffrence?	The Beast Page 5 "Suicide"
	ROEDER THE MAYBE KILLER No one really thinks abortion is murder Erich Shulte	Kino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews Michael Gildea	Waxy Beast: Music Reviews Stephen Douglas
	[sic] - Letters from our esteemed readers!	Beast-O-Scopes! Your completely accurate horoscope	Want more? Archives!


	Other Stuff
	The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2008 "The most brilliant thing ever written!" --You		ARE YOU A REAL AMERICAN? Take our quiz and find out!
	Let There Be Retards Ian Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham.		The Great Shame Bush's legacy is our failure


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