Presents:
Pusher vol.8
Notes,
From the Under Where?
“I am a sick man…I am a spiteful man,” stated
in the immortal words of: if you don’t know you better ask. I’ve
been (please pronounce bean) a hater—every thought held
under contempt—for far too long. I’ve quit the Beast and
will be pushing the Riverside times, that sports paper and The
ArtVoice, although Buffalo’s best fiend seems to have turned
over a leaf in dire need of turning.
It’s important to curb the harmful
voices infecting our youth.
What is more imperative
than the act of censoring
for our youth? (Or those Thoreau called illiterate, yet have
the ability to read.) Right—nothing! Free thought should be extinguished as
quickly as it can be mustered up. Can you blame those who wouldn’t
keep the Beast in their fine establishments? Pizza
by Molino’s is the latest to be added to the list of those
who would rather not have the Beast bringing down property value.
This was the final straw, and what actually brought on this issue.
We felt that this place is such an important—forget important—integral
part of Buffalo that, without that place out there on Union road
on our side, then ours must be the wrong side.
Hopefully, now that
things have been straightened out down at HQ, we can change their
minds like we have so many others already; such wonderful places
as Ted’s hot dogs (on Delaware), the Laundry
Lounge, Xtreme Wheels and, my personal fave, Lucky’s Texas
Red Hot’s (they have me eating pork for the first time in years!!) have all gone from hating
the distasteful Beast to placing advertisements in The BEST. It’s really amazing what accepting Bush into your life does for
one. My Uncle now respects me as a person, rather than saying
things like, “Rumsfeld didn’t know about it. It’s your fault the
country is in the state it’s in” over Mother’s Day dinner. I now
feel bad for Rumsfeld; he’s such a cute little guy.
An unlikely new sport, representing the Beast?
I stroll into this joint called Trio’s on Broadway, moving towards Union from Bailey. This particular
portion of Broadway is known for its lovely industrial wasteland scent—especially when it’s warm outside.
So Trio’s is a little hole that allows us to leave the Beast,
it usually moves a good amount of paper, and it seems like it
would be a nice little spot to grab a drink. The reason I mention
it is that my favorite sport is women’s softball, and these especially
rotund, loud and smart
women, who I would love to leave my lady for, were in the place
swearing, slapping fives—all the things that softball gamers do.
To be precise, in the place were five John Krukettes and four
Cecily Fielders—all beautiful women
at their masculine best. The Beast Lady’s softball team will
be clashing with Trio’s Trouncers next week at Cazenovia Park
in Beautiful South Buffalo. Hope to see you there. The game is
sponsored by Coor’s Light, because what’s softball with out that
rocky mountain taste?
