The BEAST: Buffalo's Best Fiend

The Straight Dope with Dr Rotten

Strain of the issue

Northern lights 5 x haze

Sativia indica cross

Indoor plant

Really uppity high, they call it speed weed

Taste peppery

65-75 days grow times

10 seeds $275 from sensi seed bank

I think I have bugs, how can I tell and where do they come from? What can I do to get rid of them?

If you are constantly itching your privates and have a red rash then, more than likely, you have bugs. You may have gotten your bugs from some sleazy bitch you picked up. As far as getting rid of them, go to your nearest pharmacy; they should have an over the counter remedy.

If it is your plants that have bugs, you should be able to see them using a 30k portable scope. Look on the underside of the leaves for bugs. Try spraying the plants with water and a small amount of dish soap. If this doesn’t work, use neem oil or Einstein oil. If this doesn’t get rid of them use a sulfur bomb. The bugs come from dirt, new clones, or open vents from outside.

I was in Vancouver, British Colombia. They had some of the best weed I ever smoked. How can you run an article saying how shitty Canadian weed is?

Listen you dumb fuck, what I wrote was that the Canadians have been sending down some shitty overpriced beaster buds. I didn’t say they don’t grow good buds; it’s just they send all that under ripened, wet, no smell, can’t get you high, overpriced dogshit that all you young dips buy all day long because it looks good and has no seeds. Christ, you dumbasses smoke it in blunts like you would with that downtown brown bullshit. If you smoked some of the kick ass samples we have been getting down at the office in a blunt, you would get so buzzed you probably would never smoke again. You can’t smoke good weed in blunts. It ruins the taste, but maybe it helps cover up the taste of your beaster garbage.

All you little beaster ripoff dealers that have your panties in a bunch over that article, fuck you. Beaster sucks dick, come suck mine.

Will cutting off the tops off my plants give me a bigger yield?

If you do that the plants will have more buds, but they are usually smaller than the large buds in the middle. I would not recommend cutting the tops off unless you don’t have the height in your grow room or are growing outdoors and want to keep the plants short. You can cut the buds that are done and let the smaller buds on your plant grow for a extra week or 2 to get some extra weight.

I have some seeds I saved from the early ‘80s. They were put in a airtight bag and kept in the freezer. Do you think they will grow?

I have seen seeds that were supposedly 10 years old sprout, so you may have a chance. Hopefully, they are some really good skunk bud or some killer indica. If the seeds are some of the weed that was around in the early ‘80s, it is going to be shit. Even if it seemed like it was the best weed you ever smoked, it does not compare to what is out now. Hell, the best shit they had then ain’t even half as good as the mid-grade from today.

Either way it will be worth the effort just to see what you get. Bring some of your harvest down to the office—I would love to see what you end up with.

My friend says I should not just cut down my plants and hang them to dry. He said that I can trim off all the big buds and leave the leaves and the small buds on the plant then put my lights on a 24-hour cycle until the plant starts to regrow (about 6 weeks), then put the lights on for 18 hours a day for a month, then back to 12 hours of light. I will get a new batch of buds? Is he right?

Yes your friend is right, but you should not do this in the time he said. To sprout regrowth in your plants you need over 10 weeks of light, but what you will end up paying for in lights and costs it is not worth it. The buds will be small and it is too much trouble. Your friend is a moron who read this in one of those stupid magazines. Do not show your garden to your stupid moron friends any more. If you feel the need to show off your garden send us some pics.

I would like to try the sea of green method(SOG) method, but I read only certain strains work good in those conditions. Any suggestions on strains I should try?

Using the SOG method is one of the quickest ways to grow your crop. You go straight from the cloning stage to the budding stage, saving a shit load of weeks that are wasted in the vegation stage. Check some back issues for the strain of month. You will find out what works best.