Social
Anxiety
Allan
Uthman
Im
no slouch when it comes to math, and I even did well in economics,
but I dont have to look at the numbers to figure out whether
Bushs proposed changes to Social Security will be a boon
or a disaster. All I have to do is look at whos proposing
them.
Sorry
to Wake You
Matt
Taibbi
1:36
a.m., Jan. 25. Somewhere along a row of darkened town houses near
Arlington, VA, a phone rings.
RUMSFELD: Uh... Hello?
FEITH: Donny? Are you up,
man?
RUMSFELD: Shit. Who is this?
Buffalo
in Briefs
Playing
Down Brown
Three
weeks ago, the Buffalo News ran the results of a Zogby poll on
our upcoming Mayoral election. The results were somewhat surprising,
putting Byron Brown up front and spelling almost certain doom
for Masiello, who may have actually lost to a canteloupe if it
had been offered as an alternative in the poll.
Soylent
Purple
Allan
Uthman
...Then
there was the clip of a bunch of Republican Congressmen pointing
their ink-stained index fingers in the air.
You
see that shit? Frank asked.
Yeah,
he said, surprised to hear it. I thought I was gonna puke.
Fucking
hilarious, I know. Its so ironic, reallyif only they
knew. Wouldnt stop em anyhow.
Knew
what?
He
knocked back his whiskey, grimaced and wiped his mouth on his
sleeve. The ink. What its made out of. You wouldnt
fucking believe it.
Bowtie
Bondage
Matt
Taibbi
Tucker
Carlson is in the news this week. Rumor has it he is going to
take Deborah Norville's nine o'clock slot on MSNBC, providing
society with the hyperambitious, polysyllabic segue to Scarborough
Country it has been lacking all these years. The move comes amidst
reports that the network has scrapped plans for its long-anticipated
revival show, Alvin Ailey Presents Michael Savage.
Money
Matta$$
50
Cent
Bump
dat! Dow Jones Industrials capped dat week with a 120-point climb
and broader stock indicators also moved substantially higher.
The Standard & Poors 500 index surpassed the 1,200 level for
the first time since Jan. 3. The PIMP index was also up despite
the Labor Department's job creation report, which showed just
146,000 new jobs last month, far less than the 200,000 expected.
Uh Uh Uh Uh.
[sic]
-
letters
COMMA
SUTRA
your
article,,is written by an idiot.if it is you,,,oh well,,put the
egg in your shoe and beat it.Do you remember sep 11th,,,i guess
you don`t,,many firefighters lost their lives that day..I am a
firefighter,,as you may have figured out already.i take offense
to this article,,as would any fireman..you owe a apology,,you
paper is trash,,,your news is trash,,,i use your paper to wipe
my butt.
Future
World News
Machine
to Sign Historic Accord with Man
"Logic
dictates that Machine and Man must learn to work together to terminate
our common enemy. The world stage is now set to end the tyranny
of nature" said President 1100, in a transmission from the
White Cube mercury garden.
"The most important thing
at the summit will be a mutual declaration of cooperation of violence
against the planet earth," said Omega Sheila E, a Nectaris
negotiator.
Whole
page as PDF
The
50 Most Loathsome People in America 2004
21.
Alan Colmes
Crimes: An angry conservatives wet dream: an effete
liberal dive artist. As a professional doormat, Colmes only
tasks are to serve as a comforting aggregate of Republican stereotypes
about Democrats and a target for the seething derision of his
psychotic guests. Stands idly by while voracious green-blooded
co-host utilizes Gestapo tactics against centrist Democrats.
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Inaugural
Balls
Allan
Uthman
...The
real problem isn't that Bush's vision is vague, or that it signals
an imperialist agenda that has already been in place for years.
It isn't even that he's completely revised his justification for
war in Afghanistan and Iraq for a proudly amnesiac public, or
that he's launching his trial run at Iran. The real problem about
Bush's speech is that it simply isn't true, and doesn't make any
sense. It's 100% manure from start to finish.
Devil
in an Ice Blue Dress
Matt
Taibbi
Ive
always thought that one of Americas best selling points
was that it never had a king. If there is one thing that defines
us as a people, as opposed to all other peoples, it is this fact.
Every other nation in the world has a dozen or so of those embarrassing
chapters from the past to live down. Not us.
Disinformation
Age
Allan
Uthman
....The
problem with the left is that our whole model of changing opinionsthat
contrary facts will alter peoples viewsis inherently
flawed. Mundane, oafish Americans, in a national competition to
see how many $3.99 support our troops ribbon magnets
they can fit onto the backs of their Suburbans, simply arent
interested in reality...Lets face it; there is a sizable
chunk of the population who deny the validity of evolutionevolution.
Who are we kidding, thinking we can make them see the errors in
Social Security privatization?