we all can see, weíre not even talking out of our asses once
we review the evidence. Only five of the characteristics are
needed to complete this diagnosis, and Cruise meets all nine.
This is what makes Tom even more interesting to shrink; heís
so pathological that he represents three of the four subcategories
of the Narcissist. This fragrant potpourri of self-importance
is comprised of the Amorous, Elitist and Compensatory Narcissists.
We will further elaborate when these rear their ugly heads.
many ways, Tom has had little control over the dick he has
become. Of course, in adulthood, every human being is the
author of his own health or disease, if we may quote the Buddha,
so letís not let him off the hook.
childhood was unstable and inconsistent. He moved from town
to town, in fact experiencing 15 schools in 14 years. This
was all due to his fatherís career working for a General Electric
as an engineer, selfishly moving his familyís home more often
than Arafat. This unstable environment lead Tom to be left
alone a significant portion of the time; he spoke of this
in an interview with James Lipton. Ultimately, Cruiseís old
man split and left the family up shitís creek.
for Tom, this left him with issues associated with abandonment
and instability. These are both common and core issues which
skew oneís perceptions of all things in life: thought patterns,
behaviors, interpretation of otherís actions, and particularly
relationships. These "core issues" are subtle, significant,
rigid and pervasive, but the individual cannot see their ill
affects. It is important to remember this about their nature
when exploring Tomís many core issues.
coped with abandonment and instability by becoming very close
with his family. This may seem well and good, but it grew
to into whatís known as enmeshment. This caused Tom
to cross boundaries with his sisters then and with women in
later life. Tom has admitted to rushing home after school
so his sistersí friends could "practice" kissing
on him. This is likely where Tom learned the self-indulgent
high of manipulation for pleasure, helping him learn early
on to indulge the emotionally needy for his own hedonistic
adulthood, he developed the habit of promising intimacy and
implying the possibility of an exclusive relationship, then
abandoning them just like his father did to him. This helps
to numb the pain of his abandonment, pulling the trigger to
end the relationship before it can be done to him. Leaving
this trail of sexual excesses and intricate lies aids his
deeply rooted desire for power over women and notoriety. This
may leave women hurt, but allows him to conquer righteous
booty such as Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz. This is a fine
representation of the Amorous Narcissist we spoke of
earlier in its infancy, this can be seen later in his life
in his intimate relationships, just where he likes them, in
the public spotlight, giving Tom the self-importance and power
he longs for.
enmeshment is also one of several factors which have lead
Tom to desperately reach out for the dogma and easy answers
provided by the Church of Scientology. When one becomes enmeshed
with their family, one loses his identity. He existentially
does not know where he begins and ends, and cannot separate
himself from other individuals, leaving him floating around,
lost, in the universe. This may be Scientologyís best referral
unfortunate piece of the puzzle can again been seen in its
infancy when we take another look at Tomís adolescence. These
are core issues known as social alienation and defectiveness.
Constantly moving from place to place and school to school
led Tom into his own escapist fantasy. He has spoken of spending
hours alone in a fantasy world. True, this cultivated his
imagination, but it also alienated him from potential peers,
which has perpetuated his narcissism for his entire life.
His attempts to form actual friendships outside of his fantasy
world were simply too late in life. By the time the family
settled, he was 14 and already a freak show. He was rejected
by the other cruel children. This just reinforced his core
beliefs he was different from everyone else and defective.
The pain was unendurable. His attempts at friendship were
a sign that his core coping style of avoidance was
failing, that he longed for acceptance. Thus began the development
of Tomís second and most public coping style, overcompensation.
can see this overcompensation blossom in adolescence when
he gave every ounce of himself to every sport he could, trying
to become the best, seeking the recognition and companionship
he so desired. Ultimately it failed; actually his knee failed.
He blew it out due to the combination of overexertion and
his peculiarly small frame. Tom was left twisting in the wind
with his good friend loneliness. Desperate for answers, he
decided to attend St Francis Seminary in Cincinnati. This
was an elegantly construed piece of coping by his subconscious;
it kept him solitary and safe from critical peers and offered
the potential of answering the question of his wretched existence.
However, seminary left him disillusioned, and he then discovered
the stage. He began to dabble in acting. Quickly discovering
his escapism could pay off in many unexpected ways, he decided
at this point to swap the priesthood for pussy, not to mention
much needed attention.
new style of overcompensating became so successful it manifested
another core issue known as unrelenting standards. This is
the piece of Tomís twisted tapestry of dysfunction with which
we as the public are most familiar. This is representative
of the Compensatory Narcissist we spoke of earlier,
the one who seeks to counteract deep feelings of inferiority
by creating illusions of superiority and noteworthiness. In
fact, this issue is very common to most actors and other prominent
figures in business, sports and entertainment. So why would
this be a bad thing? Because it leaves the individual chronically
empty, never being able to achieve satisfaction. More money,
more power, more prestige, more righteous booty, more attention,
more cars, more everything still doesnít satisfy, until youíre
left bitter, divorced, alone and running to the Scientologists.
is the Tom Cruise we as the public are familiar with, and
the main element of his psychology that makes him such a dick.
The crux of this issue can be explained with simple ego psychology.
When Tom is in the public spotlight, he turns to his super-ego,
which we will refer to as the "Self-Aggrandizer"
for Tomís case. This ego state allows Tom to become drunk
on his own celebrity, thereby ignoring his deep-seated, intractable
issues. When you have been running from them your whole life
as in Tomís case, the "Self Aggrandizer" is a welcome
friend, like a crack dealer to Bobby Brown. The "Self
Aggrandizer" is fueled by fame, admiration, and privilege,
and in fact craves them. Without them, Cruise is forced to
feel real emotion and connection to his soul, which is simply
excruciating. When the illusion fame creates for Tom is challenged,
he strikes back furiously, for example threatening The
Beast because it made him feel average and not perfect,
as he feels he must be perceived. This is also known as the
Elitist Narcissist referred to earlier, cultivating
special status and advantages due to his pseudo-achievements.
for Cruise, this only provides only a temporary fix, and one
that fails him when he is out of the public view and alone
with himself and his thoughts. This is when the id comes into
play for Tom, leaving him feeling lonely, defective and unsophisticated,
and bringing him back to his painful childhood subconsciously.
We will refer to this ego state as "Lilí Tom" for
our purposes. This state is painful and difficult for Tom
of the advantages to being shamefully wealthy is that there
are many distractions to avoid this pain (e.g., fast cars,
airplanes and righteous booty). When Tom utilizes these things,
he moves himself from the id to the ego, but for him this
is a detached, self-soothing ego state. We will refer to this
as "The Indulger." Tom spends a lot of time in this
state, but utilizing his toys only goes so far. Humans always
utilize what is innate; our biology or bodies will inevitably
be used some fashion in order to sooth or escape. The bitter
truth is that all the ego states inexorably leave Tom empty,
doomed to a vicious cycle of ego-state shifts with no relief.
the "Self-Aggrandizer" always wins, the super-ego
takes over and Tom feels drunk with celebrity yet again, making
appearances, receiving special treatment on the set, nailing
leading ladies (confirmed by "Celebrity Justice")
and of course using his high priced mega-lawyer to threaten
the "little people." This will always be done without
conscience, without regard for how these actions will affect
anyone but himself.
this conceptualization of Tom will likely never change. Tom
does not want to admit his lack of substance to himself, let
alone the world. Instead, he will strive to project an image
of completeness. The paradox is that, to the extent that Tom
will succumb to this urge, it will estrange him from his true
self and he will remain unreal. Narcissism requires
that we keep the truth about ourselves at bay. The inability
to tolerate unpleasant truths about ourselves is essential
hope we have helped Beast readers understand just why Tom
is such a dick. A little poor parenting, a dash of dysfunction,
a smidgen of biology, a splash of opportunity and a pinch
of fate, shake it up and you simply never know what youíre
going to getóEinstein, Gandhi, Bush, Stalin or Cruise. Everything
exists between our ears, and the answer is right beneath our
one is deprived of intimate relationships outside of the family
at an early age and the familial relationships are enmeshed,
one is never able to truly experience emotions that are solely
oneís own. If one has never experienced their own emotional
connections then one cannot fathom one is hurting another.
This is why Tom Cruise is such a dick. As Cruise struggles
to read this article, the "Self-Aggrandizer" will
take over. He will take care of "Lilí Tom," but
only temporarily. Then he will call his mega-lawyer.