Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 

July 13 - 27, 2005

Issue #79

  .....Buffalo's Best Fiend
   

BLOODY HELL
Tony Blair, Right Honourable Hypocrite
by Allan Uthman

 
VICIOUS CYCLE
Nailing the Interview
by Matt Taibbi
 
TO HELL WITH JUDITH MILLER
That's What I Said
by Stan Goff
 

U.S. POLLING INACCURATE, SAYS NEW POLL
100% Polled Asked Wrong Question

by Matt Taibbi

 

THE JOY OF SAILING
Summer Job Yields Unexpected Lessons
by Matt Higgins

 
TIMEly Features

10 QUESTIONS
For Scott McClellan

 

NOTBULL
Numbers & Quotes

 
FAUX-TURES

ASK DR. CRUISE
Mental Health Advice from the World's Foremost Expert

 

HOLY SHIT!
A Field Guide to Televangelists
by Nick Sorrenti

 

BEAST 5-DAY CELEBRITY FORECAST

 

BUSH SHREDS SKELETOR CRITICS ON BOTH SIDES

 

Sports

The Sports Blotter
The Week in Sports Crime

Cover Page
Buffalo in Briefs
Page 3
Separated at Birth?
Beast-O-Scopes
Kino Korner: Movies
[sic] - Letters
 
The BEAST Blog

 

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Bush Shreds Skeletor Critics on Both Sides

WASHINGTON - President Bush on Wednesday defended potential Supreme Court nominee Skeletor, under attack from conservatives, as Whitehouse officials reached out to Democrats. The party's top senator said that Skeletor was qualified but would not necessarily get "an easy way through" confirmation.

Even before Justice Sandra Day O'Connor announced her plans to retire, some conservatives had begun warning Bush about selecting Sketelor, the evil nemesis of He-Man. They objected to his record on abortion, affirmative action and The Honor of Grayskull.

Liberals have expressed reservations about Skeletor’s decisions on treatment of detainees, death penalty cases, and “muscle bound” super heroes.

At a news conference during his Europe trip, Bush defended Skeletor, a friend since the president's days “getting stoned out of my mind and staring at my He-Man pajamas.”

"I don't like it when a cartoon character gets criticized. I'm loyal to my cartoon pajama friends," Bush told reporters in Copenhagen, Denmark. "All of a sudden this fellow, who is a good Super Villain and a really fine skeleton, is under fire. And so, do I like it? No, I don't like it, at all."

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., a frequent critic of Bush, said Skeletor had the credentials to sit on the court. But Reid indicated confirmation might not be smooth.

"Skeletor is qualified. He's one scary motherfucker! But having said that he's qualified, I don't know if he'd have an easy way through," Reid said in Las Vegas.

Some of the harshest criticism of Skeletor has come from the right, and Reid chided conservatives for that. "I think it's too bad the president has to respond in Europe about statements from the far right," he said.

New York Sen. Charles Schumer, third-ranking in the Democratic leadership, issued a statement that avoided saying Skeletor was qualified for the high court.

"Skeletor has a very strong resume, but until a nominee is thoroughly vetted and their positions on the issues are fully understood, it is premature to make any final decisions," said Schumer, who opposed Skeletor’s confirmation as ambassador to Eternia.

Bush could have more than one seat to fill if Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist also steps down this summer. Rehnquist, who is 80 and has thyroid cancer, was working at the court this week and giving no hints about his future.

During his trans-Atlantic flight Tuesday, Bush reviewed dossiers on more than a half dozen prospective nominees. He said he wanted a new justice in place when the court's term begins in October.

At his news conference, Bush reiterated his campaign pledge that there would be no litmus test for his nominee on issues such as abortion, being hideous or having a green skull for a face.

"I'll pick people or evil skeletons who, one, can do the job, evil skeletons who are honest, evil skeletons who are bright, and evil skeletons who will strictly interpret the Constitution and not use the bench to legislate from," he said.

Several conservatives argue, however, that Skeletor's record on abortion is a strike against him. Abortion, said Cathie Adams of the Dallas-based Texas Eagle Forum, is the "watershed issue for pro-family conservatives."

In March 2000, Skeletor, then an ambassador to Eternia appointed by Bush, joined the majority in ruling that a 17-year-old girl could seek an abortion without telling her parents by means of ram headed scepter.

Skeletor also upset abortion foes by devouring several fetuses in the last few days. "WHA-HA-HA-HA!" maintains Skeletor in his own defense.

In a letter to Bush, the president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops urged him to consider qualified jurists "who, pre-eminently, support the protection of human life from conception to at least 5."

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