read the Beast semi regularly, and I am one of the Sportsmen's
Tavern regular's . Live music most days, no cover, reasonable
prices. I was there the night of Jackdaw, they play there
often and are cutting a cd at Sessions Studio next door
, part of the Dwane Hall Sportsmen's Tavern legacy. Anyway
to the facts.
Buffalo Bob, the bartender for the night is a fill in for
lighter shifts , so even us regulars have to wait for our
boxed wine, big tips do not help , he is the way he is.
The Dale Earnhardt mural was painted by an elderly black
gentlemen Dalton, he is homeless and paints murals around
the city for money, food or board. He is amazing, that mural
was painted over tin, it took months and the reason for
Dale was because the owners Dwane & Denise are huge
How dare you assume we are working class Bush voters because
we ARE NOT!!
bar gets people from all over Doctors, lawyers, homeless,
cowboys , indians, librarians and students blue collar,
white collar, no collar.We all are there for the music.
The owner was a Marine, back in the day. Most of us did
not vote for Bush, most of us are outraged that a government
can put a ban on smoking at a business with your name on
the mortgage. No Smoking pretty near killed us. The owners
are members of the local business community and sponsor
all kinds of efforts including The Guitar Fest every year.
lot of us have military kids, my daughter is a Lt in the
air force, so if you think I support GWB with his pro life,
pro war, pro not my daughters you are completely nuts! Do
not assume because somebody waves a Nascar flag, they are
stupid hicks, that voted this last batch of morons into
public office. Do not assume that because we like country
music , we approve of all the political crap that came out
of Texas. I Honkey-Tonk and I voted for Kerry,
check out the website to see who is playing there we have
some great people coming to the Honkiest Tonkiest Beer Joint
in Town. www.sportsmenstavern.com
Like No One Is Watching!
What exactly is a "tonk?"
DAY, ANOTHER BOYCOTT
My friends and I have been
reading the Beast for years. One brought the July13-27 issue
to my lair and I was disturbed to find "Bush shreds
Skeletor critics on both sides" article within it.
Usually, your paper makes me laugh very hard. But Skeletor
is not a laughing matter. He has destroyed countless minions
and wreacked havoc upon my people from Castle Grayskull.
I have been struggling with this foe for over 20 YEARS and
can't believe the insensitivity of your staff for making
light of this issue.
The article was further un-educating to those confused by
the PR campaigns which cast Skeletor in a favorable light.
I am beginning a boycott of the Beast and hope that other
fictional charectars join me.
we’re real sorry about that; we didn’t mean to hurt your
super-feelings. We certainly wouldn’t want anyone to get
the impression that Skeletor is not to be feared; we just
thought, you know, the skeleton-face thing would be enough
to convey his inherent evil-ness. By the power of Grayskull,
we apologize. Please don’t hurt us, Mr. Man.
I just wanted to let you fuckwads
know that I straightened out your fuckin box at Washington
and Genesee. I wait like a good little retard for the new
issue every two weeks then I go across the street and get
one. Well, I don’t know what happened today, but I think
whoever filled that box had a fuckin seizure or some shit.
The papers were all twisted and upside down and shit! Jesus
H. Christ! You oughta punch that homo right in his nuts.
If I’M out there when he does that shit, I’m pullin off
his fuckin` nipples. I love the Beast, thats all, and it
hurts that some asshole doesn`t take any pride in his shitty
job! Yeah, I sure like your fuckin` paper! Seeya in
Watch out, Jeff; Rocco the unbalanced
7-foot homo delivery guy has sensitive nipples. Nuts, too,
for that matter.
ROCK MORE TALK
The #1 Most Loathsome Buffalonian, in my
opinion, is the corporate radio fu-fu fuckup bastard who
made the decision to change 92.9 WBUF's talk format to shitty,
sugar-coated, Paula Abdul-esque garbage. Stern is still
on, but that quasi-boring Weez guy from Rochester is gone
and so is the precious Loveline. Oh how I'd love to give
that guy a steel toe to the nuts.
And of course, I throw a couple of votes
for the Herpes Simplex I and Herpes Simplex II of Buffalo,
Cellino and Barnes.
Going off topic, the Sunoco gas station
on Harlem, near Genessee, is spreading Jesus propaganda
along the lines of "Jesus suffered our pain, so we
could live in his peace" through their computerized
screen used for credit card purchases. Just thought I'd
bring this to your attention, as I was thoroughly creeped
out by this. I'm so used to seeing ads like "$.99 Frito
Lay Potato Chips!" and "12 pack of Bud $7.99"
in these things, that I did a complete double-take while
pumping my gas. I was like "Did that just fucking say
Jesus? Holy shit, it did!"
Oh yeah, seeing Taibbi on the Daily Show
was pretty surreal. Banzai to The Beast!
I fucking loved the Shiavo cover!!!
That’s because you’re a bad person, Chupi.
Yeah, we were getting used to the FM talk thing, but only
because we somehow managed to close our trunk lid on our
antenna, and now we don’t get AM anymore. It’s not that
we’re into talk radio…just all the music sucks so bad. As
to Jesus in the credit card display screen, it somehow seems
apropos to the times. So does Taibbi on Stewart, but the
pansy-ass Daily Show audience got all hurt when Matt was
I shoulda sent this earlier for your
most loathsome collection:
If this self loathing hack's ancestors had been subjected
to the policies she recommends in her book, she would be
assisting sweatshops somewhere as FUBAK labor for WALMART.(FUBAK=For
Us By Asian Kids).
Any crucifiction in print will suffice for this witch. Even
O'reilly destroyed her in about 4
seconds on his show a few months ago. It was
the only time I ever laughed till I cried watching those
Yeah, John, Malkin probably should have
been on the list, but we have a policy: no Japs. We’re sure
she would applaud it.
the Evil Publisher:
Attached find the somewhat grainy image of "Karl Rove"
who showed up at Frizzy's last night, taken by my camera
phone. Thanks for the good times and please keep writing
hilarious content... good call on Tom Cruise, by the way.
Also, I put that magnet on my car.
Sincerely, an Evil Reader, Michelle
Michelle…Hey, you were the Republican,
weren’t you? Man, the dirty, awful things we would do to
you… But all is forgiven; that picture is too much! Maybe
it really was him? It’s all so foggy, the booze, the smoke,
the phony documents…
IT ON THE RAIN
To The Editor,
A Letter Re Accountability and National Security
Clear involvement of Karl Rove in revealing Valerie Plame's
identity as a CIA operative is a grave matter of national
security. I share the views of former president George H.W.
Bush, who in April 1999 said, “I have nothing but contempt
and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the
name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious,
Valerie Plame worked undercover on National Security Intelligence
specifically in the area of enemy proliferation of WMD.
Karl Rove made us less able to defend against such threats
when he exposed her and her 20 year network of assets in
a time of war. An act of treason during peacetime is dangerous--during
a war it’s unforgivable. In the interests of national security,
any high level officials suspected of involvement should
have security clearances immediately revoked and official
criminal charges brought against them as soon as possible
to prevent further breaches.
Increasing the severity of the crime was the reason it was
allegedly committed. Joseph Wilson, Valerie Plame's husband,
was the person sent to Niger to investigate the "yellow
cake" claims falsely made by the White House prior
to sending our troops to war. Joseph Wilson was the first
person to dispute those claims. His wife's identity was
compromised in the press shortly after he did so.
We are a country at war--a war based on possibly fraudulent
motives. We have learned from the leaked minutes of a high
level British meeting “The Downing Street Memos”, that there
were plans to "fix intelligence" to justify the
illegal invasion and continuing occupation of Iraq. “The
fixing of facts” is connected to the Plame outing and more
investigation is needed. It has become a matter of national
security to demand accountability be returned to the White
Dennis M Wilson Jr
Listen, Dennis, we met Karl Rove the
other night, and he told us you like to smear jelly on your
nether regions and let your cats lick it off. That is just
fucking freaky, man, and we don’t see how we can ever take
you seriously again. Besides, you last name is “Wilson”—explain
that! You probably did your own Vanity Fair pictorial, and,
like, your wife—gave you a job or something—how did that
I just signed up for AOL and
they told me their dating line was free. I check it
out and I can'tg even send a friggin email to anyone because
I have to pay to do so. Special promotion my pierced
clit! Damn pigs make you pay almost $20 a month just
to get the internet and you can't even get free booty.
Johnny Cock Ran
Johnny, we sure as hell hope writing
us isn’t your idea of a solution to that problem, man, because
we are just not into that kind of freaky action, man. AOL,
we mean; if you want to have sex that’s fine.
To whom it may concern:
I am a resident of the shit
hole po dunk town of Rochester. On occasion my job
brings me to Buffalo, and each time I do my best to pick
up the latest copy of your publication. Unfortunately,
I have missed some issues, so I am writing to see if your
free subscription offer is valid.
Indeed it is, Mike—just a few left,
folks! What the hell?
I'm guessing I missed this offer, since I live in CO and
just got the June 29-July 13 issue yesterday....I am a native
Buffalonian who loves THE BEAST and my friend sends me them
once in a while and I saw that you're offering a free subscription
and wondered if I can get one???? Thanks, Venessa Hughes
you get a subscription on the condition that you will be
an accommodating and gracious host when we all show up at
your place in November, tell you that we love you too, and
ask for money to rent skis.
It wasn’t too hard to find out the truth about you Uthman.
You apparently have no experience in the field of “journalism”
(if that is what you like to call it) before being hired
by anti-American propaganda paper from Buffalo, NY published
by the nudist, drug addicted offspring of an activist judge.
If that weren’t interesting enough, your family has roots
in Iraq and direct ties to the tyrant Saddam Hussein.
Those are the facts of the
matter. There are only two listing in the Buffalo, New York
area for Uthman. Google the first name and you come across
a Chicago Sun article, which quotes Saddam Hussein’s
dentist from non other than The Buffalo News. How
many unrelated Uthmans can there be in your pathetic city?
Who is this Ahmed A. Uthman to you Allan? From the picture
of him that went with the article and your showing on the
asinine tabloid show Celebrity Justice I would say
there is a resemblance, albeit not a definitive one.
So enlighten your readers by
explaining the situation: How long have you been living
in the United States? Are you a legal citizen? Have you
ever been a member of the Baath party? Are you an Al Qaeda
propogandist? Why is it that an Iraqi with no journalistic
experience starts manning the ship of a democracy hating
liberal rag at the dawn of real Iraqi freedom? Were you
forced to lay down your arms, leave your homeland and pick
up a pen in defense of your fellow Mujahadeen?
I’m quite sure we would all
like to know.
from new Acting Editor Ian Murphy: when Uthman read this
letter, he went all pale, muttered something in Arabic under
his breath and ran out, talking about how he had to “abort
his mission” or something. He hasn’t been heard from since,
but reports have surfaced of an overweight, hairy man rowing
a fertilizer-laden canoe across Lake Erie in the direction
of Canada. Anyone who spots Uthman should call the FBI Counterterrorism
Division at 1-800-I-C-DARKY, and then e-mail David Willbrooke
and tell him what an incredible ass he is. Seriously, that’s
his e-mail address.]