Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 

Sept 21 - Oct 5, 2005
Issue #84

  ..Buffalo's Best Fiend
   
Poopaganda
Why is it OK for the press to lie?
Allan Uthman

Banana Republicans
3rd World, US-style
Shawn Ewald

Drowning Reality
Truth not a Major Factor in New Orleans
Kit Smith
Of Pandas & Morons
Truth vs. Myth in PA
Jeff Dean
Star Wars
The Sequel & the Reality
Bob Fitrakis

APOCALYPTIC FUNPAGE!
Play the Blame Game!
Match the Stupid Quote!
Roberts Confirmation Maze

The BEAST BLOG
Buffalo in Briefs
The Sports Blotter
The Week in Sports Crime
Matt Taibbi
Wide Right
Bills Football
Ronnie Roscoe
Kino Korner: Movies
Michael Gildea
Page 3
Separated at Birth?
Beast-O-Scopes
[sic] - Letters
 Cover Page

COMIX:
Idiot Box
Perry Bible Fellowship
Bob the Angry Flower

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PREFERRED BY 4 OUT OF 5 EMBATTLED PROFESSORS

Dear Mr. Uthman,
Thank you, late, for your (Chuck Richardson told me it was yours, anyway) column about David Horowitz, etc., this summer--it was encouraging to read. I've also enjoyed the letters attempting frantically to guess your ancestry from your name--I think Matt Taibbi used to get that too!
truly,
Jim Holstun


Mr. Uthman responds:
Dammit, can’t I have anything of my own?

BABY PLEASE DON’T GO

Dear John,
I don’t think this is working anymore. Lately I’ve been feeling ignore, marginalized, sometimes even abused. When I met you, our relationship was about possibility, a chance to prove the other’s wrong. Our friends didn’t think we could make it work, but you believed in me, and that was all I needed. When someone tried to take me away, you were willing to stand up and fight for me. Do you remember when you and your brother fought? Do you remember when our relationship was more important? Do you remember the words you said back then?

I wanted to be Mrs. Q. Public. I wanted you to take me into your heart always. But relationships take work, and you haven’t been holding up your end. Sure, there was that thing in the in the late sixties, but I’m not sure how much was you and how much was the drugs. You forgot about me, more concerned with what’s on TV. I tried to talk to you, you wanted Monday Night Football.

I’ll never forget the time we had together, but I have to do what’s right for me. We had our run, and it was a good one, but I need someone who will make me a priority in their lives, not just on our anniversary.
I’ll miss you.
Love always,
Liberty


Okay, fine then, go! See if we care, bitch! We’ve been banging Fascism behind your back for years now anyway! Yeah, that’s right! And he is one kinky freak! Hit the bricks, babe—you never understood us anyway.


THANKS FOR SHUTTING ME UP

To the Beast,
This is in regards to Stan Goff's article "No Strategy, Just Exit." I don't know if he wrote the article locally, but if he did, he was referring to the grandstand I made at the first Sheehan vigil. The article was right on the money. It pointed out the error I made in thinking that there are any filthy corrupt people than can be swayed at anti-war demos. Goff is right, there aren't any there, so why bother weakening the demonstration by making vain attempts to convince people who are or have been corrupted by the establishment.

For those smart enough to see, the article layed out the difference between think tanking and actually making things happin. The left has been doing far too much of the former. The only real point I am trying to make is that the article taught me a thing or two and I'm not going to be the one giving that pointless lecture at the next demo.
Truthfully,
Jon


Oh sure, Jon, it’s all about you, isn’t it? In fact, your daydream fantasy is true: There are tiny cameras secretly filming you everywhere you go, so that important people can ooh and ahh over your every mundane action. By the way, we really like the new glasses.

AKS TOO GRINED

.There is no such thing as a fucken onest politician,not in this world. You guys hit it on the head Bob Wilmers & Friends run this fucken city end of story. But you cant put all the blame on these guy's its the assholes who live in this shithole city no one takes the time to know the person who runs for a piticular office,if the person is connected to the whole bullshit scheme of things or not,they are content on sitting in front of the TV watching to see if the Bills are going to have A another fucken loseing season again and again and again etc! The Bills suck and are always going to suck until the old man dies and his daughter moves this shit ass team to a real city! Hey you guys want to get another slug on the city and county's ass( len lennahan chairman of the democratic party), yes ladies and gentlmen another beauty !you think the county was bad before, watch now!!! you heard it hear first, lenny won... let me see...Kennedy's in south buffalo "puppet to lenny's wishes" White in 6th district dummer than a turd "another puppet" Loughren who was a republican before he ran for lenny in the 14th district it is endless but let's keep an eye on county govt.and see how lenny runs things.He will be running the city when Brown becomes Mayor.Hey if I could live in a city and i am the bad guy and i could shoot up the town and the citizens dont care, more power to me. ciao
Tono

We understand you being somewhat bitter, Mr. Mayor, but don’t you think slamming the Bills is a little low? They’ve hardly even had a chance to suck yet!


BEATS OFF TO LYNNDIE ENGLAND

The living conditions for both the inmates and correction officers in the Holding Center and Wende Annex are intolerable and inhuman. The correction officers are way overworked, over tired and over stressed. To try and oversee prisoners that way is dangerous and a recipe for disaster.

The inmates who are still innocent until proven guilty in these lockups are exposed to unhealthy, inhuman, crowded conditions.

There isn't any toilet paper for the inmates and no feminine products for the women, with menstrual blood on the floor.. The food is terrible. Meatless sandwiches, just bread and some cheese. Maybe you can take the attitude like Sheriff Howard and say tough, you got in there, now you suffer, is against all civilized culture. The inmates aren't given footwear, so they either wear what ratty sneakers they have on or go barefoot and then catch athelite's feet or some other disease.

It's cruel and inhumane to see this happening in America. Sheriff Howard is never there, and he's way too busy hiring his buddies and giving the other pals of his raises that the country can't afford.

To hear and see al-Qaeda prisoners in Abu Ghraib and Camp X-Ray in Gitmo Cuba receiving hot food, clean sheets and superb treatment, while American citizens who aren't found guilty, waiting in a filthy, rotting stinking jail without toilet paper, food, proper health care is an American shame.

The overcrowding is dangerous not just to inmates, but for the CO's who must watch over them. Something's gonna give, and as long as Sheriff Howard doesn't give a damn about human beings whether it be inmates or his own Corrcetions Officers, things will get worse.

For the men and women working there, I wish you all the best and be safe.

Jimmy Z.
Buffalo, NY Ten year Navy vet 1982-1992


Here’s an idea, Jimmy: Why not send the surplus inmates at ECHC to Gitmo? We’re sure they’d all jump at the chance. At least the sodomy would be administered by trained professionals. Plus they could dispense with the stress and inconvenience of charges, legal representation and trials—all that boring evidence. And, you know, clean sheets, “superb treatment” and all…dick. You had yourself a good message there for a minute, but you couldn't help tainting it with your bizarre need to justify torturing foreigners, could you? Talk about mixed messages.


THE ORIGIN OF SPECIOUS

Dear Beast,
A few years ago, I heard some lectures of Ken Ham on tape where he 'disproves' evolution. In my mind I formed an image of him as this dashing dapper Aussie bloke with whispy blonde hair.

He is an eloquent and effective speaker. Is that picture of him really what he looks like? Oh my god! He really does look like a throwback to the nineteenth century. All he needs is a top hat and a cane and an all black or dark brown suit from that period. Either that or he looks like one of those cavemen on a recent TV commercial I have seen. (Could that be a sign, that the Christian fundamentalist right does not want to evolve?)

At any rate, the tapes that I heard presented Mr. Ham's notions about evolution including all the counterevidence -- well, what he thinks of as counterevidence. According to the tapes I heard, the Christian fundamentalist right wing really does want to introduce creationist elements into the science curricula of our schools among other things. And basically thereby use that as a stepping stone to world wide evangelism. They really want to weaken the teaching of evolution in not only elementary, secondary, and high schools, but also in colleges and universities.

Of course, the first thing to do is to try to disprove the notion of an ancient earth. After all, if one can prove that the earth is far younger than billions of years, then things on earth would not have had time to evolve. Most of Ken Ham's lectures on these tapes attempt to do just this, to try to show that the earth could not actually be billions or even millions of years old.

Of course, those in the know already know that there are literally mountains of evidence for an ancient and rich history of the earth and that in turn supports the evolutionary model of the origin of life on earth. An all of this was discovered in the nineteenth century the same century that Mr. Ham appears to be from.

The motivation of these movements, however is not science, but power and influence. Most Christian intelligencia know that the majority of people do not have a clue about most of the major discoveries of science -- and many simply do not care. They want something that makes them feel good -- something that makes them feel special in the face of an often hostile, cruel, and frightening universe. The notion of a personal Supreme Being fills the bill -- especially one that gives a flying fuck about what is going on in the world. Of course, they don't care about the evidence. Hurricane Katrina, for example, was just an instance of his justified wrath because people didn't behave. The people in New Orleans had it coming to them because of their immoral behavior.

They don't care about the evidence that many moral and upstanding people were also killed in that disaster as well as hoodlums and thugs. It was just the will of this Supreme Being. Don't laugh, that is how these people think.

When you have a society that ridicules 'nerds', people who take an active interest in science, and ostracizes people who seem to demonstrate that they have a modicum of intelligence, except for people who have the intelligence to know how to make money, you cannot expect much support from the society. For many people science is a threat.

Educators of the twenty first century are going to have a devil of a time because people don't see that science is relevant to them and that scientific principles are important to our grasping of knowledge. If you question what is supposed to be common knowledge or 'common sense' you are labeled as 'stupid' and not 'with it.'
Steven Switzer


If immoral behavior was punished by a supreme being, Steven, D.C. would be a radioactive glass crater, and they’d still be picking up pieces of Albany in Utica. And if Ken Ham’s posse win the day, “educators” will be criminally prosecuted.

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