WE RULE

You need to be told that…

There's a zillion websites who dedicate thesmelves to 'saying it like it is'

But having read your articles and lists, I'm speechless.

It's without a doubt one of the best, most intelligent, witty and hilarious sites I have ever had the privilege of coming across. My sides are aching with laughter, I don't think I can stop.

You guys rock. Keep it up.

NOMIA

Thanks, NOMIA. Now go tell Lorne Michaels.


LOVED BY A LUDDITE

Paul and friends,

I'm not a great blog reader. In fact, I've never web "surfed". Anytime I logon which is rare because I hate computers, it's to find something specific I need.

But a friend, who knows I can't stand the Bush era, and who knows my taste for black humor aimed at the right people sent me to "The Beast's" 50 Most Loathesome page.

Wow! It's like you're reading my mind! I agree with most everything written here. But I could never hads articulkated it with such passion and talent. It gratified me tremendously to discover people as angry as myself at the unbelievable stupidity and arrogance of current American culture. But what I most admired most was the quality of the writing . Wow, cogent, terse, clever and passionate.  So fucking refreshing! How did such fearless, common sense language get banished from the airwaves and mainstream media.

If I were Jon Stewart or... fuck that, if I were the NY Times, I'd hire, sight unseen the writer(s) of this list. Brilliant, simply brilliant impassioned work. Whew!

Keep hammering. You are SO needed.

Michael Hardesty, a red state loner

Dammit, Hardesty, why aren’t you Jon Stewart? Work on it, will you?


LISA SAYS

Guys-

You absolutely rock.  That thud you hear is me falling off my chair laughing at how well and truly you skewered 50 people who definitely have deserved it the most (including God and All the Rest of Us).

All of you, if you haven't already figured this out, deserve a girnormous readership.  I only came upon your article by a chance mention in a blog I don't even read that much.

You guys remind me of the grand old days of Spy magazine, back when it was a little subversive 80's rag.

Come the revolution, I'd be most proud to be on your side.

Cheers,
Lisa Khiter

Our readership may not be ginormous, Lisa, but it is “meatnormous.”


A CONGREGATION OF ONE

I have slowly and carefully read your list of the 50 most horrible people in America, and you writers have rapidly become my gods.  I now believe I can reduce my consumption of cheap wine and expensive drugs and still live in the world.

How gratifying it was to read that like you, SOMEONE thinks that Our President is the stupidest, most insensitive bastard this long presidential line has ever produced.  I have only two wishes for him; first, that for some selfish reason (and I don't care what that is) he ends the war and brings home the troops who are killing themselves for nothing.   My second wish is that he become very ill, and forced to step down----at which time Dick Cheney will be revealed in his total psychotic mania, and even the republicans will have to lock him up and issue commands which SUPPOSEDLY come from him.

Good to you,
I'm with you!
Ellen Haggar

That’s great, Ellen; now sacrifice your first-born male to us, and bring some of those expensive drugs.


MORE HACKY, PLEASE

First of all, thanks for the laughs (and guilt trip, for that matter).

I couldn't quite figure out why you'd subject Bush Jr to eternity under the DieBold machine with hot dogs out of reach. First of all, wouldn't the DieBold machines be more worthy of Walden O'Dell or Katherine Harris? Second, shouldn't the hot dogs and bourbon be replaced by pretzels and a mountain bike?
Matt

Pretzels and a mountain bike, Matt? Do you write Leno’s monologue?


DON’T CALL ME “TOOTS”

mr. luthman --
quick question, toots: who in the FUCK wrote "the 50 most loathesome people in america, 2005 piece"? today i had my very first taste of your publication, and i must say that i am blown away by the writing. even with my utterly foul and hateful partisanship aside, that piece, specifically, is perhaps some of the best writing i have read in many, many moons. who wrote it? what else do they write? do they have a book out? a regular column, perhaps? might i blow them for the difference?

 a name, good sir -- i need a name.

many thanks --
muffy bolding

Well, Muffy, it sure as hell isn’t “Luthman.” However, you can still blow me.


CHEER AND LOATHING

Hello friends,
Just wanted to thank you for the "50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005" article. You make if obvious that the spirit of Huster S. Thompson is alive and well. Excellent choices all around (though I would have wanted Parislut Hilton in the top 5).

As soon as I have money back in my Paypal account - I'm subscribing...
Keep up the good work.
Dick

You hear that, folks? He’s subscribing. Why not join him? It’s what Huster S. Thompson would do, whoever that is!


SMARTER THAN A REANIMATED CORPSE

Just want to let you know that the "50 most loathsome" was the funniest -- and most bang-on -- think I've read in some time. It's like Hunter Thompson came back from the grave a smarter man.

Keep up the good work. I will be visiting your site from now on. It will remind me up here in Canada that the USA is not completely full of crack pots.
Jonathan Link

Well, you know, Jonathan, it’s not exactly Wichita. We can practically pee into Canada from here.


MONDO GONZO

Congratulations on your 50 most loathsome Americans.  You and the other contributors have a talent for invective that I thought had been lost for good when Hunter Thompson died.  I always thought old Hunter had the clearest vision of any American journalist or historian.  I am glad that somebody still sees things the way he did!

Thanks for an enjoyable read.  By the way, a lot of the stuff in #4 (you!) doesn't apply to me.  I commute to work on a bicycle, 5,000 miles a year.  My TV quit two months ago, and I have not gotten it fixed yet.  I never watched it very much when it worked.  I don't miss it!  And my congressman is Benny Thompson, a democrat, of all things, in the state of Mississippi!  I must say, for a lot of people in Mississippi and other states, it does not do them a lot of good, knowing who their contressman is.
Paul Krombholz

Look people, stop it with the HST comparisons. Everybody knows Matt Taibbi is the new Thompson. Let him deal with that shit.


SLIGHT OVERSTATEMENT

The latest "Worst People" list -- simply the best thing ever written by anyone anywhere about anything.
Chuck Mathias
Steilacoom, WA  (Adam Smith, D, 9th District -- just want to make sure you know I know...)

Thanks, Chuck. We were a little worried about Shakespeare, but you have put those qualms to rest.


HIGH COMEDY

A masterpiece! Bravo and cheers! Wish I had the $$ to hire a skywriter to write your words all across the U.S. sky. Write on, friends, write on!
   -- Jean Goldstrom

Thanks, Jean, but we’re not sure how the FCC feels about high-altitude profanity. Think of the children!

MORE LOVE

I usually don't read these things, but your list was one of the funniest things I have read in years!  Both hilarious and highly informative.  Keep it up!
Will Allison
NYC

Thanks Will—what things?


NOW THERE’S AN IDEA

Dear Evil Editors,
    I want to tell you all how much laughter and sadness you gave me as I read this list!
    The Barbara Bush's "polluted womb" line was by far the best I've ever read in a LONG time! Thanks So much for putting everything into prospective!
    If you folks ever decide to start up a newspaper that reports the news that us Americans need to hear, warts and all, count me in for a subscription! God, how our country needs a collective kick in the ass!
    Keep the Peace!
    Kurt R. Sieber
    Summerville, SC

You’re in luck, Kurt! We just started up such a paper, and published 92 issues. What a coincidence!


IT’S NOT A BLOG, DAMMIT

Your Most Loathsome list ROCKS!!!!

It's much too good, and too well written, to confine to a blog. Any plans to bring it out in book form? You could expand it to 100 to compete with that gasbag Bernie Goldberg (he could be one of the next 50, in fact).
Best regards
Pan Demetrakakes

Goldberg stole our idea, dammit! Still, it’s a good thing someone’s leading the charge against such threats to our nation as Barbara Streisand and Courtney Love. Those people are dangerous!


UNFAIRLY BALANCED

I guess you'll claim you equally bashed liberals and conservatives alike in your stupid list (I hate lists anyway) but in reality you just threw a few bones in there to fool the uninformed. For if not, how could you not have Ted Kennedy, Farrakan, Pelosi, Schumer, Mr Hillary Clinton, Sean Penn, Rev. Al, Letterman, Feinstein, Reid, Bagin, Blanco, , well I could go on and on.

Any by the way, President Bush is one of the BEST Presidents we have ever had due to his realization that we have to take the fight to our enemies and not sit on our butts like Clinton and Carter did and look what it got us.  He gets it, as do most Americans, you do not.
David Williford

It’d be ridiculous to claim we bashed conservatives and liberals equally, because we didn’t. But Letterman? Come on, Dave, really. Can’t you do better than that? He punk’d your man-crush, so he’s an enemy of the state now? And Ted Kennedy drove a girl to her death, drunk—37 years ago. If that’s all you’ve got, you can write your own list—the 50 Pettiest Grudges in America. Hey, don’t forget Howard Dean! He made a noise!


FRANKENSTEWART

Halfway into reading this, I remember the Daily Show already exists and stopped.

Thanks for answering the question, "Would Al Franken be funny if he used obscenities?" I thought the answer was no, but it's always nice to be sure.

Oh, and next time, you may want to throw in some more random flops of big words so people know what kind of liberal elitist they're reading. Otherwise they might get all truculent on ya.

Thanks

P.S. - I don't think god hates fags, but I'm pretty sure he hates you.
Josh Plack

Wow Josh, you sure told us. Your incisive wit and original prose puts us to shame—where did you come up with such a biting turn of phrase as “liberal elitist?” That one’s sure to catch on. Sorry we made you crack the spine on your dictionary, pinhead.


PROUD STEREOTYPE

I am glad you listed "You" becuase I don't care about the planet.  YOU ARE SO SO RIGHT.  I LOVE POLLUTION, I DRIVE A BIG GAS HOG (BMW M5, 10 CYCLINDER 500 HP) AND LOVE IT.  I REGULARY THROW TRASH OUT MY CAR DOOR, DO NOT RECYCLE AND HOPE GLOBAL WARMING IS BEING CUASED BY HUMANS (ALTHOUGH NOT POSSIBLE IF YOU KNOW SCIENCE).

            I have environmentalist, the Sierra Club pussies, green peace, ELF, ALF and espcecially PETA.  Although I love having PETA around becuase they are so wacky and it makes me want to go bird hunting.  Me and a buddy will go out into a farmer field and see how many birds we can kill in a day.  My record is 124 is 3 hours ( I ran out of bullets).

            By the way, I am dead serious and you guys are not funny in the least but at least #4 is correct

Steve Alvey

Thanks, Steve, for confirming our worst prejudices.


YOU SUCK, AWESOMELY

You are an idiot.

I am surprised that you can even type!  Usually, dimwits like you can't spell or express a coherent thought.

Your skills are far above the usual leftist vermin.

Thank you for an entertaining waste of time.
Greg

Time for you lithium, Greg.


ANOTHER ELOQUENT REBUTTAL

Michelle Malkin.

People like you are always missing one thing.  Rationality.  Letting your emotions control what you think is real.  You're all so emotional and unrealistic why do you think so many poeple are more conservative now than before?  People do not want to align themselves with people that are so hate filled.  I don't agree with all things conservative but I'm farther from your group than ever before.  Unbelievable how clueless you people are....sheesh.
Sara Kennedy

Thanks for your comments, Sara. We’ll be sure and let “our group” know, since we’re so tight with the DNC. You’re right—Republicans are so realistic and unemotional.


CUSSIN’ FUSSIN’

You know, your list was pretty much on target.  However, as a thinking, participating and educated member of what's left of working America, I have to disagree with your repeated, mind-numbing use of profanity.

There are still some people in this world who rely on a good vocabulary to get their point across.  Shock-jocks masquerade as know-it-all pundits when all they're really doing is tossing word-bombs.

Your list made several - more than several - very valid points. Which I thought could have been made without f-bombs and other assorted assaults to good English.

Pat Perrier
Freelance Writer

Gee, Pat, that’s just too fucking bad.


GOD WILL KICK OUR ASSES

Some of this is clever but then typically you boys get carried away by your own undisguised animus of everything and virtually everyone. It really redounds badly to your fevered attempts at satire. Well, at least the BTK Killer beat out Samuel Alito and God.

Now what was that saying about the beginning of wisdom...?

Cheers,
Robert Maresca

It’s “W,” right Robert? The beginning of wisdom. “W.” Yeah, that’s got to be it.


CAN’T COUNT, LOVES VEGETABLES

Dear Writers,
Your article on the 100 most hated people in America was appalling. The fact that you showed absolutely no remorse about dissing a poor woman shows how stupid, and rude you are. You need to learn some respect for people, because obviously you don't care about who you hurt along the way. Your article clearly shows that you guys don't care about anyone, some of those people were correct, others were put in there because you guys are lacking mental capacity. But if you're going to put down fifty good people, 20 bad people, and 30 people who have absolutely nothing wrong about them, at least leave out the people who can't defend themselves. I want to puke because you showed absolutely no sadness over the loss of a beautiful woman, who's husband deserves to have his neck ripped off. You guys disgust me. I feel sorry for whoever raised you, their children turned out to be worthless pieces of trash. Have a nice day, and consider removing a poor woman slaughtered cruelly because her husband wanted to have sex with his mistress.
 ,Elizabeth

Tell us, Elizabeth, how exactly do you rip a guy’s neck off? Respectfully, of course.


OY VEY!

gotta hand it to you liberal jews!

masking america hatred with another make-believe free for all.

no matter.  pres. bush has destroyed the jew york times and will destroy you.

best wishes,
 jc

We hate to disappoint you, JC, but we looked all around our offices, and we can’t find any Jews. You’ll just have to find another sick, ignorant reason to hate us. We do enjoy Woody Allen, though, and boy do we miss the Jew York Times.

 


Balance, Bias, & Bullshit
"Balanced" news is making you more stupider.
Allan Uthman
Come Frey with Me
Advance excerpt from James Frey's new "memoir."
Chris Riordan
Belly of the Beast
An inexplicable adventure with Al Gore.
Ian Murphy
Planet of the Apes
The promise of an animal society.
The Monkey
Ask an NSA Spook
He's always listening....
Lighting the Fuse
Stop waiting for Democrats to solve your problems.
Stan Goff
Mad Science
Corruption is threatening science, too.
Kit Smith
Stupor Bowl
Are you ready for some duuuhhh?
Paul Jones
Reader Opinion
Why only one foreign Nation Downtown?


Last Issue: #91

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005
Our disturbingly popular annual list of the foulest among us, for a particularly objectionable year.
The Year in Ephemera
Our 2005 Timeline.
Andrew Gullerstein Predicts!
Iron-clad predictions for the new year.
What's Going On
You just don't know, do you?
by A. Monkey
Buh-buh-buh-bye, Sharon-a
What you won't be hearing this week about Ariel Sharon
by Paul Jones
Mine Shaft
Undermining mine safety
by Kit Smith


e-mail the evil editors at sic@buffalobeast.com

 
 

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