much is true
This Issue: an exciting look at the
coming American police state and puppy rearing tips
much is true: In January of 2006 the Army Corps of Engineers
awarded a $385 million contract to Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg
Brown & Root for the construction of detention centers in
the United States. KBR has deemed the facilities necessary for
“an emergency influx of immigrants into the U.S., or to support
the rapid development of new programs.”
much is true: It costs roughly $6,400 to raise a medium-size
dog to the age of eleven.
much is true: On February 4, 2006 the New York Times
reiterated the aforementioned “new programs that require additional
detention space.” No further information about said programs is
available to the public.
much is true: Dogs pant to regulate their body heat, but they
also have sweat glands in their feet.
much is true: Pentagon Papers dude Daniel Ellsberg commented
on the KBR contract, “Almost certainly this is preparation for
a roundup after the next 9/11 for Middle-Easterners, Muslims and
possibly dissenters. They’ve already done this on a smaller scale,
with the ‘special registration’ detentions of immigrant men from
Muslim countries, and with Guantanamo.”
much is true: The most popular breed of dog in the United
States is the Labrador Retriever, followed by Rottweilers and
much is true: In 2002, Bush appointee to the U.S. Civil Rights
Commission Peter Kirsanow said if there’s a future attack on US
soil, “and they come from the same ethnic group that attacked
the World Trade Center, you can forget about civil rights.”
much is true: Large breeds should be fed twice daily rather
than once to avoid stomach bloat.
much is true: In June of 2003, the Office of Detention and
Removal (DOC), operating under Immigration and Customs Enforcement,
and ultimately the Department of Homeland Security, issued a 49
page strategic plan entitled Endgame. This documents states
the goal of the DOC by 2012 is to “remove all removable aliens.”
much is true: When left alone, veterinarians recommend leaving
small puppies in the company of a wind-up clock to simulate the
beating heart of its mother.
much is true: From page 9 of the quaintly titled Endgame:
“While the alien will not necessarily perceive any “benefit” from
DRO services, he will be provided with safe and secure confinement
in detention facilities, as well as transportation from ports
and points along the border to other detention facilities or his
country of origin.”
much is true: Flea bites can cause tapeworms, which can also
lead to anemia in your dog.
much is true: From 1982-1984, fascist stalwart Oliver North
helped FEMA implement Reagan executive order “Rex 84.” The contingency
order called for “suspension of the Constitution” and “declaration
of martial law,” giving FEMA supreme powers over national “crisis”
and “violent and widespread internal dissent or national opposition
against a US military invasion abroad.” [Emphasis mine]
much is true: Puppies can get heartworms from being bitten
by one infected mosquito. [Emphasis also mine]
much is true: “A Miami Herald article on July 5, 1987
reported that the former FEMA director Louis Guiffrida’s deputy,
John Brinkerhoff, handled the martial law portion of the planning
[Rex 84]. The plan was said to be similar to one Mr Giuffrida
had developed earlier to combat “a national uprising by black
militants.” It provided for the detention “of at least 21 million
American Negroes” in “assembly centres or relocation camps.” Sydney
Herald, July 2002
much is true: Puppies are widely considered to be “adorable.”
much is true: September of 2005, the Washington Post states
that Karl Rove implored Louisiana governor Blanco to impose martial
law “or as close as we can get,” to adequately deal with the aftermath
of hurricane Katrina.
much is true: Dogs can learn up to 50 words of any human language.
much is true: In 2002, now representing the Anser Institute
for Homeland Security, Brinkerhoff stated in a PBS interview:
“The United States itself is now for the first time since the
War of 1812 a theater of war. That means that we should apply,
in my view, the same kind of command structure in the United States
that we apply in other theaters of war.”
much is true: The last chewing stage of most puppies occurs
between 14 to 16 months.
much is true: The Posse Comitatus Act was signed into
law in 1878, prohibiting deployment of federal military personnel
in a domestic law enforcement capacity.
much is true: Puppies have 28 temporary teeth that erupt
at about three to four weeks of age. They have 42 permanent teeth
that begin to emerge at about four months of age.
much is true: In April of 2002, the DoD created a new
U.S. Northern Command (CINC-NORTHCOM) for the continental United
States. Donald Rumsfeld lists the duties of the NORTHCOM commander
as such: “homeland defense and also serves as head of the North
American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD).... He will command
U.S. forces that operate within the United States in support of
civil authorities. The command will provide civil support not
only in response to attacks, but for natural disasters.”
much is true: Puppies experience a fear stage at 8-10 months.
Any traumatic events occurring during this time frame may lead
to a life of skittishness.
much is true: In December of 2005, president Bush signed the
Detainee Treatment Act, authored by Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.),
nixing habeas corpus by stripping federal courts of jurisdiction
over “enemy combatants” detained at GITMO and elsewhere.
much is true: Studies show that by age three, 80 percent of
dogs exhibit signs of gum disease.
much is true: Per the case of Jose Padilla, a US citizen branded
an “enemy combatant” by Bush: In 2005, a South Carolina court
ruled against the president’s legal authority to declare a US
citizen an enemy combatant. Later a Virginia appeals court overruled,
and currently the condition of who exactly can be labeled an enemy
combatant is in limbo. The Supreme court has not yet decided if
it will rule on the petition at hand.
much is true: About 50 million dogs live in the United States,
and the American Kennel Club recognizes 148 breeds!
much is speculation: With the administration disregarding
the constitution at every turn, breaking federal statutes by the
hundreds and exerting heretofore unknown levels of executive power,
could a future America feature internal dissenters branded as
terrorists, who will be shipped off to domestic concentration
camps? At the risk of preemptively sounding the wacko-conspiracy-theorist-loony-bell:
yes. This could happen. These are scary times, hysterical times.
For the past 5 years, the national agenda has resembled more closely
the buildup of a totalitarian dictatorship than, say, the birth
of ancient Greek democracy. So as people of dissent, are we justified
in our fears? Fuck yes. Oh, and – while puppies can bring joy
into your life, they also bring a lot of hard work and responsibility.