Why are all those demonstrators out there carrying Mexican
Well there's a sense of pride with anybody. We just had St.
Patrick's Day. Are you saying that Irish, because they're
holding up their Irish flags, that all of a sudden they're
not loyal or they're un-American? It's a double standard to
say that people from one country can wave their flag, but
people who want to be Americans can wave another flag, but
they're not being loyal. That's a double standard. Irish Americans...
... Are you accusing me of a double standard?
Well, I'm just saying.
Because I want you to look me in the eye and I want you to
hear me loud and clear.
Yes, I'm right here.
OK, are you ready to listen to me loud and clear?
I don't think that we should have any flag flying in this
country except the flag of the United States. And let me tell
you something else, since we're talking about double standards
and I think you're right about people who would believe that.
But let's be clear. I don't think there should be a St. Patrick's
Day. I don't care who you are. I think we ought to be celebrating
what is common about this country, what we enjoy as similarities
as people. And as Peter Viles was reporting, talking about
the culture and the heritage of their people and that's why
they want to hold up the Mexican flag or Ecuadorian flag.
some would take such a statement to be the ridiculous raving
of a man who has painted himself into an ideological corner,
embracing a flatly ridiculous position to avoid being called
out on his obvious racism. But I assure you, although my show
focuses almost exclusively on the dangerous threats posed to
America by foreigners, I don’t hate Mexicans any more
than I hate the Chinese or Indians. Basically, I just really
like Americans, and by that I mean people like myself.
But I digress. The reason I’m writing
today is that, after the controversy my statements above have
generated, I have looked into the threat to America posed by
rampant displays of foreign flags, and have discovered that
the problem is much worse than I thought. It may seem hard to
believe, but such treasonous displays are commonplace today
in America, and Mexican flags are just the tip of the iceberg.
All over the country, such seditious celebrations
of un-American lineage are rampant, in the seemingly innocuous
forms of “heritage festivals” and parades which
purport to celebrate “ethnic pride.” Unfortunately,
many see nothing wrong with the brazen practice of flying foreign
flags. Well I’m here to inform you just how wrong they
St. Patrick’s Day is seen by many naïve
Americans as a fun time, an excuse to drink beer and watch parades
while wearing cheap green hats. But, in their inebriated state,
many miss the significance of the many Irish flags displayed
in this shockingly nationalist ritual. Let’s not forget
how Irishmen have expressed their “pride” in the
past—by blowing up Englishmen! And there are actually
four times as many Irish in the US as in Ireland! Clearly, the
Micks are to be watched—but at least they speak English.
The Italians, on the other hand, plaster their
flag all over everything—pizza boxes, restaurants, and
of course their “festivals,” thinly veiled separatist
rallies where they stuff unsuspecting Americans with fatty sausages
and desserts, softening them up for eventual conquering.
are other examples: the British, though ostensibly our greatest
ally in the war on terror, have been infiltrating our culture
since the aptly-named “British invasion” of the
‘60s. While they have been savvy enough to refrain from
indecorously displays of their flag in our sovereign nation,
certain “rock and roll” groups, including “the
Who” and “Def Leppard,” have popularized the
more subtly insidious act of wearing the Union Jack as clothing,
especially in T-shirt form. Many young Americans can be found
in such shirts, apparently oblivious to the fact that they are
insulting their own homeland in the process.
Now, some of my viewers have told me that my
position on this is “ridiculous,” “absurd,”
and one even called me a “total retard” for taking
a hard line on this issue. They say that such displays are merely
expressions of people’s “pride” in their heritage,
and are linked to old times, when their nationalities were denigrated
here in America, due to resentment at their immigration here.
But think about it, America: if you are “proud”
to be from another country, aren’t you also saying you’re
ashamed to be an American? Besides, if we apply this justification
to Italians and the Irish, then how are we supposed to justify
taking offense when Mexicans do it?
Clearly, such a situation cannot be tolerated
if we are to preserve the integrity of our great nation. In
order to retain the freedom that makes America great, we must
put a stop to such irresponsible expressions of difference.
America is great nation at least in part because
of its vibrant mixture of different cultures, each of which
must be immediately suppressed if we are to remain great. Therefore,
all holidays which are not originally American should be banned.
Except Christmas. Basically, the minute you get here, you should
just forget everything about your roots and try to blend in.
That’s what America is all about—being a white protestant.
Okay, look—I just don’t like Mexicans,
all right? They talk funny. Have you seen their television shows?
Terrible! I mean, it’s one thing if they’re going
to mow my lawn, but now they’re going to get all uppity?
No way, Jose.
As concerned Americans, it’s imperative
that we all pretend to be just as offended by foreign flags
from Europe as those from Mexico. That way, it’s less
obvious that our stance on illegal immigration reflects irrational
xenophobia rather than sober assessment of facts. For the time
I’m Lou Dobbs. Thank you.