TIME IN FREDONIA
Higgins was at my school today. I was required to go for
my journalism class.
sucked. He was stumping about stem cells, his experience
as a freshman congressman and some touching U2 song he heard
this one time. He said we can't believe in our future unless
we believe in each other, too, something to that effect.
Oh, and he vowed to keep the Bills in town. Thank God! He's
so unlike those anti-Bills politicians trying to chase the
think it gave me cancer. I get in a room with politicians
and some weird disgust-driven murder-instinct takes over.
I asked him about why he voted to renew the Patriot Act and
he like flinched and said "Thank you, and I appreciate
you asking me that," too, which is code, or some political
cultural reflex where you thank your constituent for a "tough"
question. Absurd. He said he voted to re-authorize the Patriot
Act over border security, and the infringements on civil liberties
which he "tried" to get taken out were somehow worth
it if it kept America safe. Nevermind that no one from New
York City, the place actually targeted, voted for it. Fucker.
I guess when Buffalo gets an indoor water-park or a fucking
monorail or whatever the hell is magically gonna appear on
the waterfront and save us all, Higgins doesn't want it dirty-bombed
by some irate Canadian.
and it might be some interest to you guys that he kept refrencing
Friedman's "The World is Flat," which, tenuous as
all that shit is, is pretty funny if you imagine them saying
that the Earth ends at the horizon and that anything traveling
to that edge would fall off. No, he's a really big fan of
it. All that neoliberal capitalist shit bundled with this
new thing called the internet? I'm sold! Where do I buy
things now? It was really insulting the way he broke down
Friedman's better points ("9/11 or 11/9?"... yugh),
and gave us "an economics lesson in four minutes and
spared us four years," to paraphrase. What a smarmy
campaign manager was shaking my hand before I could even stand
to leave, getting all up in my shit and telling me that it
was the most intelligent question they've ever had about the
Patriot Act because everyone usually attacks them. I was
like "If you want to blow me, you have to pay me first."
not really. But Jesus. I don't think they know what a joy
it would be to attack them--with a roll of quarters balled
up in each fist. Kinda made me think of the Stan Goff piece
you guys ran a couple issues ago. The poster for Higgins'
appearance said something like "Listen up! Ask questions!
Act!" or something. I imagined Higgins finding his
tires slashed and saying "Shouldn't have put that last
thing on there..."
just looking forward to graduation. Chuck Shumer showed up
last year (my girlfriend was walking and I rode it out with
the "The World is Flat" review, actually), so I
can't even guess what shit-heel politician they're gonna wheel
in to break it down for us kids headed out into "the
real world." Hilary? That's a recipe for an embolism.
I have an art show coming up at EBC in Fredonia on Friday.
Plus bands and poetry and booze. Anybody from the Beast staff
is welcome to attend. Hit me back for more details.
Clay, but Fredonia’s farther than we’re willing to drive just
to beat up poets. You seem cool enough, but what if your art
sucks? Then we drove all that way, just so we can feign appreciation
unconvincingly, mutter “uh, yeah, it’s cool” and then stand
around, get too fucked up to drive back, heckle the bands
and bone your girlfriend in your dorm room. What then, Clay?
Will you be glad we came then? What about the next morning
when we’re feeling bad about it, and in an uncomfortably forced
pretense of rambunctious spontaneity we bust into the bathroom
while you’re sulking in the tub and toss an unplugged hairdryer
in with you, and instead of enjoying a really funny joke,
you have a serious heart attack on the spot and die, and although
we feel really bad about it, we decide not to make a big fuss
about it and tell anyone, because we just have kind of a phobia
about cops and jail cells, so we leave you to bloat in your
own brine, but not before your girlfriend lets us do her again
“for good luck?” What then, Clay? Sorry, but we just can’t
risk it—you’re too important to us as a friend, man.
not sure but, who's the bright Einstein that decided to bring
over that mass of useless, rusted pig oil for a museum piece?
That will be our next monument on the lake shore for another
10 to 20 years. FUCK. they have that time to pocket money
debating it. so they'll keep it until it's usless and they
sink it or sell it piece by piece at a loss to taxpayers!
why don't we slap these assholes in the cock suckers?? it
all starts right here before it gets to albany or washington.
cuz you can tell bush is from texas since, nothing but BULLSHIT
ever leaves his decietful cock sucking mouth! too bad so
many people are so goddamn stupid or we wouldn't be here.
i'm not the stiffest cock around, but shit, i'm not (mentally)
that dis-advantaged. but are so many? i feel that i'm losing
hope for anything in my life time. so, i don't care if you
print this or not. every time i turn around i see such stupidity
it makes me want to vomit.
the paper up, i might subscribe
What the hell are you talking about?
LOG: I SUCK”
Republicans are going through some serious troubles, with
Tom Delay's Abramoff issues, George's lying and getting caught,
"Scooter" and now the perv at the Dept. of Homeland
Security. The Dems are jumping up and down like Tom Cruise
telling us how what they always knew would happen, did.
is the perfect time to write your Congressman and tell them
them we haven't forgotten how they let the Patriot act through
because they didn't read it. Tell them we saw how they didn't
stand up with Feingold. Tell them we don't buy that they have
had their hands tied by the Republican dominance, that we
think they could and must try harder.
them what you think.
Okay, here goes: We think that “Star Trek: Enterprise” was
the worst installment of the series yet, and we’re glad it
got canceled because it was an atrocity. We think that the
people who cast these things are retarded. We don’t expect
much, but Scott Bacula? Come on now! What, the guy from “Greatest
American Hero” wasn’t available? And that horrible, cheesy
Hasselhoff-derivative theme song that you just know is Bacula,
he probably even friggin’ wrote it, the ego-tard. He’s like
Scott Stapp from Creed, but easier to imagine kicking the
shit out of. Hey…thanks, Globus! We feel a lot better now.
You’re all right, for a guy whose last name sounds like a
massive, overwhelmingly powerful cyborg supercomputer which
will enslave humanity and rule the earth in the distant future.
Nice piece on the latest waste of the taxpayers' money that
will be the new Federal courthouse.
The Beast did, however, miss the funniest irony of all. The
Law Library in the current Federal courthouse has discontinued
subscribing to a number of important case and law reporting
publications because of budgetary reasons !!! At least the
peasantry will be able to get screwed over in a nice, new,
shiny and secure building ! In this regard, an up-to-date
Law Library is a "waste" of the taxpayers' money
as people or even lawyers who do not want to spend thousands
of dollars per year do not need to research what the law holds
on paper, they can just take the Court's word for it that
the rich and powerful are right and they deserve to lose their
cases. In regard to criminal cases, the poor can also take
the Court's word that the police and prosecutors acted properly
and they deserve to be in jail for lengthy sentences.
the words of Neil Young --- "Keep on rockin in the Free
R. Gradl, Esq.
the words of Michael Jackson, “I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)/Pretty
Young Thing/You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)/Tender Lovin’ Care/I’ll
Shake You There.” Creepy, right?
a casual consumer of lots of local alternative media. While
eating or pooping, I prefer to read The Beast, and I make
do with other blah-blah such as Artvoice in between issues.
The rest of the time I go about my business with talk radio
on. Hell I even got a radio strapped on my bike.
they started lefty talk station AM 1270, I listened to NPR,
even with drooly membership drives, investor droning and co-opting
"balance". I switched over because 1270 has less
androids, more muckraking, less fluff shows about kittens
and cookies, and talk from actual non-retarded Buffalonians,
which is pretty hard to get elsewhere. It's cool to see them
advertising with you. This town really has a lot to offer
here's a question. Regarding Artvoice's past articles about
the Seneca casino, how it could screw Buffalo, and alternatives
to help the city, there was 1 topic I didn't see covered.
Just speculating, but there seem to be a lot of qualities
that make Buffalo a good candidate for movie/TV production:
cheaper real estate than almost anywhere- distinctive architecture-
talent (UB is a top school for media study) with cheap cost
of living and a thriving arts community- and location between
2 world centers for media production (Toronto AKA "Hollywood
North" and NYC). With "runaway production"
being a problem for Hollywood (Schwarzennegger's pet issue),
the opportunity seems perfect. Couldn't we kill 2 birds:
keep more jobs in the US, and revitalize Buffalo by making
movies here? Would you consider doing a piece about it?
subscriber and gossip-monger,
Pat, we’ll consider it…………… Okay, we’re done. No. Why? Celebrity
actors and directors don’t want to spend their time in places
like Buffalo and the hundred other cities currently trying
to pull this scheme off. They film in places they like to
hang out in. You’d understand if you saw how bored—and kind
of scared—Anjelica Huston and Christina Ricci looked getting
drunk at Gabriel’s Gate. Anyhow, do we really need these people,
and their people, and gaggles of gawking worshippers befouling
our pristine grey bleakness? Celebrities make people act stupid,
lose their cool, and then you can never look at them the same
again, you know? I mean, it’s fine in Toronto, but we’re supposed
to be—gritty, you know? How are we supposed to be gritty when
every couple of days it’s OH MY GOD THAT’S JOHN TRAVOLTA!
HEY JOHN, HEY! LOVED YOU IN—WELL PULP FICTION WASN’T BAD!
WOW! Can you believe that? John fuckin’ Travolta, man, just
chillin’ on Elmwood, dude, how fuckin’ awesome was that? Hold
on, man, I gotta call my mom, she’s gonna freak out… See what