The most tragic thing that could ever happen, ever, happened. And it’s tragic. And it happened.

BY KENT PULLINGSWORTH

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WASHINGTON — The White House today was shocked to learn that General Stanley McChrystal, whose recent resignation in the face of fierce criticism that re-ignited the national debate over the Afghan war, attempted suicide at Meridian Hill Park some time yesterday afternoon. The General had been fired from his position as commander of US forces in Afghanistan, after an appalling, and some say journalistically unethical, profile of him appeared in the pages of Rolling Stone magazine. Police have made no official comment, but eyewitnesses describe the incident as a botched hanging. Read the rest of this entry »

The military’s time traveling dolphin/human hybrids: is that a thing?

BY TYLER BASS

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Aaron McCollum’s story is one that will either leave you believing him insane, a liar, the greatest government whistleblower of all time or some combination of the three. Initially, in conversation with him, I confessed my belief to him that I thought he might even be a liar, a statement about which he seemed remarkably understanding, if of course in disagreement. Read the rest of this entry »

South Carolina’s unlikely Democratic nominee for Senate, the mysterious Alvin Greene, is currently “in the shower,” according to a recording the BEAST has obtained of a call between an unnamed source and Greene’s father and roommate James. He will be available for further media scrutiny in “about ten minutes.”

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[UPDATE: the phone's busy.]

Ken Mehlman’s Down Syndrome prostitution ring, Karl Rove’s gay lovers, Michael Steele’s money laundering schemes and more!

A SHOCKING INTERVIEW WITH REDSTATE.COM’S ERICK ERICKSON

BY EDWARD CONE

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Spring was full on and the budding trees and blooming bushes obscured Erick Erickson’s means of arrival. On the phone he had said he’d meet me only in an open-air public place. For his safety, he insisted. And for mine. He dressed for this occasion differently than he had for his many television appearances; gone were the fancy suits and fat ties, and with them, wherever they were, went the obnoxious swagger, the smug look on his face. He wore sweatpants and a hoodie two sizes too big for him, if that were possible, and on his face an expression of sincere fright with his rat-eyes set in a suspicious squint. The only thing to equal my rather low expectations was his giant block head which sat squat on his neck like an inverted mason jar over which loose drooping skin had been poured from a large bucket. He approached without looking at me. Read the rest of this entry »